Somethings I just don't get used to...

I turned on the switch in the dining area a bulb blew. Nothing new about that. I guess over the years it has happened a hundred or more times. Yet, I still jump. You'd think I'm used to it by now, but no.

The reason may well be it does not happen often enough in a short enough span for me to get used to it and to suspect it will happen. I get lulled into a false sense of security that the lights will come on when I hit the switch since the do so often. Then, out of no where...BAM!

We think we'd learn but we take things for granted until they don't do what we expect.

I think life is that way. We can assume things will always be like this (good or bad) until they aren't. We can assume our wives will always be there and then something changes.

We think our kids are perfect until they aren't.

I love my kids and they've not disappointed me. Are they perfect? Nope, but they do have a sense of right and wrong. I've not assumed they'd know this and always do it. I try to be in their lives, asking questions, reading report cards, attending events and being involved in their activities at school or elsewhere. I figure if I find it and nip it in the bud early it is never a problem.

I wish I could do bulbs like that.

Enjoying the success of others...

If kids have taught me anything (and they've taught me so many things) it is to enjoy and celebrate the success of others. That simple lesson has spilled over into so many areas of my life in so many ways.

I'd like to think I was not jealous of others success before. I just didn't know how to enjoy their success and celebrate it. I was never mad about it, never envious nor resentful. I just didn't know how to enjoy it and celebrate it. I guess I was neutral, happy for them but not sure how to respond because I didn't know what or how to feel. Plus, like many kids and young adults I was focused on my world too much.

Kids changed that. They go through so many trials and each is a major success. From the first da-da (I'm pretty sure they said that first...) to the first step, potty training (that was easy to celebrate!) to the first date, college and job. I didn't learn to celebrate these because they were milestones or because they were just my kids. I'd learned that they make them a better person, they are a reward for effort and I was really, truly and genuinely happy and excited for them. The joy on their face, the happiness I knew they had. I felt it. I enjoyed it and I celebrated it.

I'm sure God gave me kids to learn many things and I've tried to hear what he was wanting me to know and learn.

A follower of this blog, Becky, makes the most wonderful ceramics, especially birds! She, like other potters I know, makes amazing art and pots with clay. I truly enjoy her work. Her talent makes us all better. I have friends that work hard in their church, helping others and making the world I better place for all of us. I enjoy their success and celebrate the talents they have. I have a friend who is the CFO of a major company. I'm so happy for him and all that he has accomplished. He's a great guy and went out of his way to help and befriend a lowly freshman at Carolina. He's made an impact on people his whole life.

I'm fortunate to know and have known some amazing people. They make me better by knowing them and for that, I'm glad to celebrate!

Blowing my top...

Brittany, the middle child, the college girl is heading to Iceland this summer...well in about 2 months! Yesterday a volcano erupted in Iceland about 40 miles from where they will be staying. This volcano has not erupted since the 1800's and it has to pick NOW to erupt! AND the experts are predicting this is precursor to the eruption of one of the active ones that just so happens to be about 40 miles from where they'll be staying!

She says the advisers are on top of it (the situation, not the volcano) and that the monks in the monastery (next to the hostel/school where they will live) take lawn chairs out and watch the volcano when it erupts. This is supposed to make me more comfortable??

So, to reassure my self I do a little more research and find that Iceland straddles the American and European tectonic plates and is actually splitting itself apart by 10 cm per year!

I'm trying to keep calm but when you are a Dad and your baby girl is involved and it is about volcanoes....well let's just say its hard to not build up a head of steam of worry. If I'm not sleeping well now what will in be like when she is actually there?

Real or paper?

I don't like paper plates. I can eat a sandwich from them and can handle them for picnics. But otherwise, I like real plates. My kids would prefer paper plates every meal, but then they have to do the dishes.

I think there is something civilized about real plates, solid flatware and real glasses at a real table. I think it provides a sense of permanence that is important to a family. I think it also helps us slow down, enjoy the meal and talk both during and after.

I do admit that when I'm standing over the sink or dishwasher paper plates are a tad tempting!

New definition for "Friend"?

Do we need a new definition for "friend"?



With the advent of the Internet, cell phones, texting and mobile access to everyone and anyone do we need to redefine the meaning of "friend"? I've thought about this just little over the last couple of years. It was brought up again in my mind today based on a Facebook posting and a subsequent question from someone I've known for a while.



We seem to want to redefine things a lot lately. Marriage, family, parents, conception, healthcare, right, wrong, work hours, ethics to name a few. I'm not sure everything needs to be redefined. Sometimes we need new words with new meanings to describe the new things we see. I read that there are 540,000 words in the English language. That is 5 times more than when Shakespeare was alive. This is both amazing and what we'd expect. I doubt Will had much use for the word computer or terabyte. Then again, some days I'm not sure I do!

I don't think we need a new definition...we have and will continue to have personal definition of "Friend" like we always have. I suspect we resist, at least internally, the imposition of definitions we don't hold true to ourselves. That is if you have that internal compass that tells you right from wrong, when to stand true and not "go along with the crowd".

If you don't then you won't stand for something and you'll then fall for anything, my friend!

Counter Intuitive...

I'm often fascinated with things that are or seem to be counter intuitive. I soak/marinate poultry in very salty water for about an hour a pound. When I first heard of this I could not imagine it being anything but really salty meat. It is not at all. It just makes what is normally dry meat very moist after cooking.

Medicine can be the same as can food. Things that taste bad have to be bad for us right? And things that taste good are good for us. Often this is true but sometimes it is the opposite.

Life can be like this, too. Exercise, change, new jobs, and yes, even sex. I know many people that fight change and I'm often amazed. They know it is going to happen but they still fight it. We all do that, too, with things in our lives. Sometimes in a big way and sometimes in a small way.

I need to get more exercise. I hate to "work out" and I'm struggling to find a way to exercise that gets my heart rate up and is something I like doing. With the weather getting better I'm hoping to do hiking, geocaching and some metal detecting. Now, if I do all three at once do I get credit for 3 or just one? It seems intuitive that I'd get credit for 3, right?

Yeah, I thought so and that brings me back to where I started.

Simple vs. Complex...

I like things that I use everyday to be simple. I don't want to have to think too much when doing things . They need to be easy to operate, do, interface with and understand. They need to have no more than 2 steps to complete. More than that and you are into the complicated range.

I visit a lot website for work or personal. I'm amazed at how little attention is given to things that can make the experience so much better for the customer/user of the sites. A prime example is entering a phone number. If they have 3 boxes they never auto tab for you. Nope, you have to tab. A very simple programming item but a huge interface item. Or, if there is just one box, no auto hyphens. I've started a revolt by just entering all 10 digits together with out hyphens. I figure if they wanted them they should put them in. I know, it is not a big revolt, but I'm voting with the ballot I have.

Another item that bugs me is asking for city and state when you've already asked for my zip! Duh! Most systems auto check it anyway so go ahead and fill it in. Again, a SMALL programming item with bit interface potential.

American Express Travel services site offers you hotels based on the airport you fly into. They don't allow you to change the city for the hotel! Oh, you can pick another hotel but not as part of the "discount package". What a pain. I have to imagine that many travelers like me fly into one city and drive to another. If they offered this option I'm sure I'd take advantage of it.

Airline sites are another bug of mine. US Airways will select a "best match" based on the criteria you enter for flights. I've yet to see that "best match" be close to what I entered! The price is always higher than others and the time is virtually NEVER close to what I entered. I'm sure they are offering what is best for them, but I don't care about that.

All of these things take time and that is time away from my family. It is also just stupid and careless work. I encourage my kids to do a job and do it the best you can, regardless of what it is. They are the ones that will be using and building these sites one day. I hope they do a better job.