Families are in many ways an accident of nature. We don't get to choose our family members, except our spouses and even then I'm not sure we know them as well as we think we do. We certainly don't choose spouses based on the spouse-to-be's family (well, not many of us).
So, what is this thing we call a family? What defines it, what makes some work well and others dysfunctional? What ties us together besides birth or name or living under the same roof?
Getting too "deep" for you? Why ask this question? Just figure it out as you go along and don't worry about it?
I think about my family all the time. I don't take anything for granted and I don't do anything without a reason. My family is my focus and I know that what we do, what we share, what we focus on and what we make important shapes, molds and builds the family unit we have. Leaving things to chance is not good. (Just in case you are wondering, I don't use the terms "in my opinion" since this is my blog it is already my opinion.) To get the family you want you have to constantly plan, focus and make sure you are doing the things to get what you want our of it.
I am convinced that the glue that binds a family, more than anything else, are the shared memories, the inside jokes, the "family secrets" and the shared experiences. These are more than memories, they should be bonds of trust, things that you can lean on in later times. These are the foundation on which each member will build on later in life.
My kids know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'll be there for them. That gives them all the confidence in the world to go forth and make things happen. I was there on those many Saturday's and Sunday's for soccer, band, baseball, birthdays, parties and sicknesses. I've rocked them for 48 hours straight when they had chicken pox.
This builds a bond, a closeness and trust that lasts a lifetime. You can not get this cheap, you can not get this easy. It is not a once in a while thing. It has to be an all the while thing.
Being there for what is important to them is critical. As they grow, the absolute little things are the biggest things to them. Seeing you there signifies love, acceptance and affirmation.
Much is talked about child rearing. I've learned that watching a child grow up, changing diapers, taking them to the doctor on weekends as well as during the week, watching them eat those first cheerios all make for a better, stronger relationship. You get to know this person, who they are, who their friends are, the types of choices they make AND you are a person that is there when they need guidance, a shoulder, a reminder. If you come in out of the blue or out of the cold and administer advice or punishment they don't know you, don't know your love, your caring and that you have their best interest in mind.
Where does this whole thing come from? Well, I am convinced that Farmville on Facebook is an evil plot to take over our minds by aliens. It is addicting! I kicked the habit and got that monkey off my back months ago. Thank you! Now my family is into it! All of them! Even
my wife! And today my middle child, the last bastion of hope went over to the dark side and has joined the ranks of those on Farmville! I swear I can see things crawl under her skin to her head and are taking her over! Woe is me!
Alas, I too have slipped silently, quickly and decidedly back into the abyss of Farmville. They are all enjoying it and how can I bind us together if now with the glue of Farmville? It was either that or take away all the PC's!
So, what is this thing we call a family? What defines it, what makes some work well and others dysfunctional? What ties us together besides birth or name or living under the same roof?
Getting too "deep" for you? Why ask this question? Just figure it out as you go along and don't worry about it?
I think about my family all the time. I don't take anything for granted and I don't do anything without a reason. My family is my focus and I know that what we do, what we share, what we focus on and what we make important shapes, molds and builds the family unit we have. Leaving things to chance is not good. (Just in case you are wondering, I don't use the terms "in my opinion" since this is my blog it is already my opinion.) To get the family you want you have to constantly plan, focus and make sure you are doing the things to get what you want our of it.
I am convinced that the glue that binds a family, more than anything else, are the shared memories, the inside jokes, the "family secrets" and the shared experiences. These are more than memories, they should be bonds of trust, things that you can lean on in later times. These are the foundation on which each member will build on later in life.
My kids know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'll be there for them. That gives them all the confidence in the world to go forth and make things happen. I was there on those many Saturday's and Sunday's for soccer, band, baseball, birthdays, parties and sicknesses. I've rocked them for 48 hours straight when they had chicken pox.
This builds a bond, a closeness and trust that lasts a lifetime. You can not get this cheap, you can not get this easy. It is not a once in a while thing. It has to be an all the while thing.
Being there for what is important to them is critical. As they grow, the absolute little things are the biggest things to them. Seeing you there signifies love, acceptance and affirmation.
Much is talked about child rearing. I've learned that watching a child grow up, changing diapers, taking them to the doctor on weekends as well as during the week, watching them eat those first cheerios all make for a better, stronger relationship. You get to know this person, who they are, who their friends are, the types of choices they make AND you are a person that is there when they need guidance, a shoulder, a reminder. If you come in out of the blue or out of the cold and administer advice or punishment they don't know you, don't know your love, your caring and that you have their best interest in mind.
Where does this whole thing come from? Well, I am convinced that Farmville on Facebook is an evil plot to take over our minds by aliens. It is addicting! I kicked the habit and got that monkey off my back months ago. Thank you! Now my family is into it! All of them! Even
my wife! And today my middle child, the last bastion of hope went over to the dark side and has joined the ranks of those on Farmville! I swear I can see things crawl under her skin to her head and are taking her over! Woe is me!Alas, I too have slipped silently, quickly and decidedly back into the abyss of Farmville. They are all enjoying it and how can I bind us together if now with the glue of Farmville? It was either that or take away all the PC's!
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