Somethings I just don't get used to...

I turned on the switch in the dining area a bulb blew. Nothing new about that. I guess over the years it has happened a hundred or more times. Yet, I still jump. You'd think I'm used to it by now, but no.

The reason may well be it does not happen often enough in a short enough span for me to get used to it and to suspect it will happen. I get lulled into a false sense of security that the lights will come on when I hit the switch since the do so often. Then, out of no where...BAM!

We think we'd learn but we take things for granted until they don't do what we expect.

I think life is that way. We can assume things will always be like this (good or bad) until they aren't. We can assume our wives will always be there and then something changes.

We think our kids are perfect until they aren't.

I love my kids and they've not disappointed me. Are they perfect? Nope, but they do have a sense of right and wrong. I've not assumed they'd know this and always do it. I try to be in their lives, asking questions, reading report cards, attending events and being involved in their activities at school or elsewhere. I figure if I find it and nip it in the bud early it is never a problem.

I wish I could do bulbs like that.

Enjoying the success of others...

If kids have taught me anything (and they've taught me so many things) it is to enjoy and celebrate the success of others. That simple lesson has spilled over into so many areas of my life in so many ways.

I'd like to think I was not jealous of others success before. I just didn't know how to enjoy their success and celebrate it. I was never mad about it, never envious nor resentful. I just didn't know how to enjoy it and celebrate it. I guess I was neutral, happy for them but not sure how to respond because I didn't know what or how to feel. Plus, like many kids and young adults I was focused on my world too much.

Kids changed that. They go through so many trials and each is a major success. From the first da-da (I'm pretty sure they said that first...) to the first step, potty training (that was easy to celebrate!) to the first date, college and job. I didn't learn to celebrate these because they were milestones or because they were just my kids. I'd learned that they make them a better person, they are a reward for effort and I was really, truly and genuinely happy and excited for them. The joy on their face, the happiness I knew they had. I felt it. I enjoyed it and I celebrated it.

I'm sure God gave me kids to learn many things and I've tried to hear what he was wanting me to know and learn.

A follower of this blog, Becky, makes the most wonderful ceramics, especially birds! She, like other potters I know, makes amazing art and pots with clay. I truly enjoy her work. Her talent makes us all better. I have friends that work hard in their church, helping others and making the world I better place for all of us. I enjoy their success and celebrate the talents they have. I have a friend who is the CFO of a major company. I'm so happy for him and all that he has accomplished. He's a great guy and went out of his way to help and befriend a lowly freshman at Carolina. He's made an impact on people his whole life.

I'm fortunate to know and have known some amazing people. They make me better by knowing them and for that, I'm glad to celebrate!

Blowing my top...

Brittany, the middle child, the college girl is heading to Iceland this summer...well in about 2 months! Yesterday a volcano erupted in Iceland about 40 miles from where they will be staying. This volcano has not erupted since the 1800's and it has to pick NOW to erupt! AND the experts are predicting this is precursor to the eruption of one of the active ones that just so happens to be about 40 miles from where they'll be staying!

She says the advisers are on top of it (the situation, not the volcano) and that the monks in the monastery (next to the hostel/school where they will live) take lawn chairs out and watch the volcano when it erupts. This is supposed to make me more comfortable??

So, to reassure my self I do a little more research and find that Iceland straddles the American and European tectonic plates and is actually splitting itself apart by 10 cm per year!

I'm trying to keep calm but when you are a Dad and your baby girl is involved and it is about volcanoes....well let's just say its hard to not build up a head of steam of worry. If I'm not sleeping well now what will in be like when she is actually there?

Real or paper?

I don't like paper plates. I can eat a sandwich from them and can handle them for picnics. But otherwise, I like real plates. My kids would prefer paper plates every meal, but then they have to do the dishes.

I think there is something civilized about real plates, solid flatware and real glasses at a real table. I think it provides a sense of permanence that is important to a family. I think it also helps us slow down, enjoy the meal and talk both during and after.

I do admit that when I'm standing over the sink or dishwasher paper plates are a tad tempting!

New definition for "Friend"?

Do we need a new definition for "friend"?



With the advent of the Internet, cell phones, texting and mobile access to everyone and anyone do we need to redefine the meaning of "friend"? I've thought about this just little over the last couple of years. It was brought up again in my mind today based on a Facebook posting and a subsequent question from someone I've known for a while.



We seem to want to redefine things a lot lately. Marriage, family, parents, conception, healthcare, right, wrong, work hours, ethics to name a few. I'm not sure everything needs to be redefined. Sometimes we need new words with new meanings to describe the new things we see. I read that there are 540,000 words in the English language. That is 5 times more than when Shakespeare was alive. This is both amazing and what we'd expect. I doubt Will had much use for the word computer or terabyte. Then again, some days I'm not sure I do!

I don't think we need a new definition...we have and will continue to have personal definition of "Friend" like we always have. I suspect we resist, at least internally, the imposition of definitions we don't hold true to ourselves. That is if you have that internal compass that tells you right from wrong, when to stand true and not "go along with the crowd".

If you don't then you won't stand for something and you'll then fall for anything, my friend!

Counter Intuitive...

I'm often fascinated with things that are or seem to be counter intuitive. I soak/marinate poultry in very salty water for about an hour a pound. When I first heard of this I could not imagine it being anything but really salty meat. It is not at all. It just makes what is normally dry meat very moist after cooking.

Medicine can be the same as can food. Things that taste bad have to be bad for us right? And things that taste good are good for us. Often this is true but sometimes it is the opposite.

Life can be like this, too. Exercise, change, new jobs, and yes, even sex. I know many people that fight change and I'm often amazed. They know it is going to happen but they still fight it. We all do that, too, with things in our lives. Sometimes in a big way and sometimes in a small way.

I need to get more exercise. I hate to "work out" and I'm struggling to find a way to exercise that gets my heart rate up and is something I like doing. With the weather getting better I'm hoping to do hiking, geocaching and some metal detecting. Now, if I do all three at once do I get credit for 3 or just one? It seems intuitive that I'd get credit for 3, right?

Yeah, I thought so and that brings me back to where I started.

Simple vs. Complex...

I like things that I use everyday to be simple. I don't want to have to think too much when doing things . They need to be easy to operate, do, interface with and understand. They need to have no more than 2 steps to complete. More than that and you are into the complicated range.

I visit a lot website for work or personal. I'm amazed at how little attention is given to things that can make the experience so much better for the customer/user of the sites. A prime example is entering a phone number. If they have 3 boxes they never auto tab for you. Nope, you have to tab. A very simple programming item but a huge interface item. Or, if there is just one box, no auto hyphens. I've started a revolt by just entering all 10 digits together with out hyphens. I figure if they wanted them they should put them in. I know, it is not a big revolt, but I'm voting with the ballot I have.

Another item that bugs me is asking for city and state when you've already asked for my zip! Duh! Most systems auto check it anyway so go ahead and fill it in. Again, a SMALL programming item with bit interface potential.

American Express Travel services site offers you hotels based on the airport you fly into. They don't allow you to change the city for the hotel! Oh, you can pick another hotel but not as part of the "discount package". What a pain. I have to imagine that many travelers like me fly into one city and drive to another. If they offered this option I'm sure I'd take advantage of it.

Airline sites are another bug of mine. US Airways will select a "best match" based on the criteria you enter for flights. I've yet to see that "best match" be close to what I entered! The price is always higher than others and the time is virtually NEVER close to what I entered. I'm sure they are offering what is best for them, but I don't care about that.

All of these things take time and that is time away from my family. It is also just stupid and careless work. I encourage my kids to do a job and do it the best you can, regardless of what it is. They are the ones that will be using and building these sites one day. I hope they do a better job.

Two and a half months to go...

My youngest daughter is going to Iceland this summer. She leaves in 2 and a half months. Her passport came Saturday and I'm already missing her! Her books for the trip (she's taking 2 classes) have come in and that just adds to it.

I'm glad she's going and we've encouraged her to go but that doesn't mean I miss her any less.

She's blogging about the trip. Keep up with her at http://chanceofalifetimeiceland.blogspot.com/ .

She is just home from a Model Arab League conference in SC. She's always on the move with something or other. She has promised us she's going to sleep the whole week. We'll see. If she tries I'll wake her up so I can talk to her. I've got to store up some face time with her since she's going to be gone for a whole month!

Travel...

I was out of town last week for several days. No big deal. I've traveled hundreds of times over the years. Yes, things have changed in the last 30 years but somethings haven't. Security is one of the biggest changes. I remember when there was no security, then a little bit, then more and then a lot. I remember when families were at the gate to greet people. Given the congestion I'm glad they are now in baggage claim if they show up at all.

Flight attendant are about the same, except there are more men and the women are regular people. Some older, some younger, some slim and some not slim. I remember when they were all slim and young. I like regular people being there.

Pilots...more women. I like that OK. Glad they're finally getting their due. But pilots in general seem younger. That does not inspire confidence. Captain Sully inspires confidence. Pilots need experience...but with other passengers. Not me.

Planes are both different and the same. Seats are still too close and too small (OK, they seemed bigger years ago but I think that was me more than the seat). Knowing the tricks of travel are more important than ever. Frequent flyer programs are never good. If you get enough miles to get something free it just means you've flown too much and been away from home too much.

Commuter planes are better and worse. You see a lot of small jets now but they are making longer trips. Good and bad.

People still fall into 2 categories. Those that travel for business and are "road warriors" and those that aren't. We that travel get a little annoyed with the delays of those that don't travel much. We shouldn't but we do. I try to help them when possible. I find that people are people even when they travel. Their personal bubble gets very small, but it is still there and still your private space. Most regular travelers don't want to talk unless they know you real well and are a buddy. Otherwise, quiet is the word.

Earphones are the norm. Most people wear them even if they don't care about the music. It prevents others from talking to them. Respect the space is the key.

I can travel for a whole week with a carry-on bag and a briefcase. Amazing what we learn to do.

Luggage is much better now than before, too. Get a good, solid and dependable bag if you travel a lot. You don't want problems and you always want dependability. My favorite brand is Ogio. Incredibly well built, not overly expensive and will last forever.

I came home this week and my 16 year old son came running out when I got home. He gave me a huge hug and told me he missed me. That is better than anything! That is what makes travel bearable. Coming home. Be sure you have that to come back to.

Taxes

I'm working on our taxes. Never, ever is it a sit down and just do them and get them done kind of chore. Nope, I start out with the basics from Diann and then as I enter them I learn of other things I need...more items for deduction and research on what something means, etc. Every year is either very different for the tax laws or for us.

I don't mind paying taxes. It is the tax returns I hate. I'm not a fan of the flat tax idea. I think the variable tax we pay encourages people to buy a house, invest, save and other things. A flat tax takes some of that away just to "make it easy" on us. Also, the fallacy that the rich don't pay taxes also bugs me. Sure they do. Do they get deductions the rest of us may not, sure, but those encourage them to invest in businesses that employee the people that complain about their tax breaks. I guess a little knowledge is dangerous.

I think I get a great deal for my taxes. I live in the greatest country in the world. I can travel without restrictions and don't need to show "papers" to do so. My taxes are not too high for what I get. No, I don't like $400 toilet seats the government buys. I think we need to root out those instances and those people/policies and get rid of them. But, that is part of my responsibility as a citizen. I'm to call my government on such waste and either they change or I get someone in there that will! We vote with our ballots and our dollars. It works.

Now, if I could just get through these returns!

Blogging...the next generation

Well, my baby is going to Iceland this summer. She got her acceptance letter today. I naturally assumed she'd go all along so acceptance was a foregone conclusion for me. But, this makes it official, which makes it all the more real.

If it was me I'd get focused on the trip and totally forget about the classes in front of me. She'll keep focused. It is her nature.

Follow her adventure at: http://chanceofalifetimeiceland.blogspot.com/ . She's blogging about the trip starting with her acceptance and prep and then the trip. I'm proud of her and I'm excited another generation is blogging, too.

Just two teaspoons...

I made cinnamon rolls today. I love to cook but I don't bake too much. Just not usually my thing. I've been trying to do more of it lately to get better at it. Today I made cinnamon rolls using a simple recipe that was pretty straight forward.

I've found that when following a recipe I get in a hurry. I don't know why, it is not like its going anywhere. And when I get in a hurry I'll miss a step or ingredient. I can usually fix it so it is not usually a big deal. You'd think I'd learn but apparently not.

Today everything seemed to go really well. I mixed the filling (using Splenda, good for me) and it was awesome. I mixed the dough, rolled it out and it looked great. Spread the filling, rolled it up, cut it and baked it. They looked good when they came out. I put the icing on and thought I was all ready.

One bite and I knew something was just a little off. While done, they just tasted a little "floury" or something. They were good and the filling was awesome but the bun part was a little off. I thought through everything and couldn't figure it out. When I went back to the recipe I realized I'd left out 2 teaspoons of sugar from the flour mixture.

Now, 2 teaspoons of sugar in a cinnamon bun recipe doesn't sound like much and it isn't. Except it is needed in the bun mix to take off the flour edge. It is all the difference.

Life is like this, too. There are things we don't like to do but need to force ourselves to do so we can get good at them, learn from them and, if we do them right, have something wonderful to show for it when we finish. Even if we don't succeed 100% we almost always come away with a better education than when we started.

To me, the biggest thing I learned is that it is not the size or the amount of the ingredient in a recipe. It is the impact it has on the finished product. Life is like that, too. It does not have to be big but if not given at the right time it can have big results. Likewise, if given at the right time, in the right amount the result can be stellar.

To me, telling my kids that I love them is much like the two tablespoons of sugar. It is a little thing but it is so important to what I want them to know about me, about themselves and about how to let others know how important they are to you.

What is a friend...

I was reminded recently of what being a friend is all about. The definition I learned in high school came flooding back.

Friend: It is not the out stretched hand nor the kindly smile. It is the spirited inspiration that comes when one believes in you and trusts in you.

I think that is still the best definition I've found. I've been lucky enough to have friends like that through my life. I've found that time is not part of the definition. Friends can be from way back, that you've not seen in ages and they can be new. They don't always have to see you at your worst nor at your best. Sometimes they just know the "you" that is "you" in spite of those things and even in spite of not seeing those times.

I think my friends forgive me for being me all the time. I have a friend from college that once told me that the best part of being your friend is I got your whole family along with it. She's someone I met when she was a freshman and we've just hung out ever since. My kids love her and I think she's closer to Diann than me! At least as long as we give her Hershey kisses! There is always foil wrappers around when she leaves.

Some friends are newer. We've met at band performances with our kids in high school, or through just being neighbors. They are parents like us and getting older, too.

I reconnected with another friend recently from way back. It is good to connect and catch up. We've all traveled our paths and each journey has been varied. Older friends are different. They knew you before you did anything. You were full of optimism, passion and invincible. To still like you is a testament to them more than you.

I'm looking at another friend right now. Talk about seeing you at your best and worst! She's seen it all and then some. Yet, she still thinks I'm great. I'm glad we found each other. She still fills me with that spirited inspiration, at least she does when she puts her hands on her hips and says my whole name in that specific tone. Suddenly the kids run and I'm alone. At that point I'm just looking for a kindly smile or an out stretched hand!