Where does time go?

It's been almost 8 months since the last posting. My how things have changed!
My wife has had both knees replaced.
I have a new niece.
My daughters have booked a trip to Japan for 13 days (they leave in 23 days).
My middle child spent a month in Iceland as part of the study abroad program.

There are other things but these seem to be on the top of the list for now.

The girls are headed to Japan. It gets more and more real the closer it gets. Brittany, the youngest (21) is excited and getting a little anxious. She spent a month in Iceland so is ready but still it is a big trip. Laura, the oldest (25) has not traveled much except with the family but is really looking forward to this. The trip was a present from Diann and I. We cashed in a ton of frequent flyer miles and hotel stay points to book the flight and hotel for them. They are going first class there and back so it should be a nice trip.

I think this will be a huge benefit to them. I can only imagine the confidence it will build and the horizons it will expand. The world is a much smaller place than when I was young and people should get out there and see it. I have and I want my kids to do the same.

My son (17) wants to go. I have to have someone here to our hold our hands while my wife and I worry.

where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing...

Have you ever been someplace and thought "what am I doing here?" or get the feeling you should be some other place or just wonder if this is where you need to be right now?

Have you ever been doing something and think "why am I doing this?" or got the feeling you could or should be doing something else or just wonder if this is what you were meant to do?

I've had that feeling. I listen to that feeling. It is part of my inner/moral compass. It helps me make sure I'm not being wasteful. It helps me rethink things. It helps insure I've got all the information I need. It is not always a comfortable feeling but it is one I listen to. It helps me.

Yesterday I was with my daughter just to tag along while she got her car inspected. She wanted some company so I tagged along. After she got her car inspected the battery died AND her window (electric) would not go up. 7 hours later new battery, new alternator, new window motor (that did not work and has to be done again tomorrow), new serpentine belt and the phone number of a mechanic that thinks she is cute.

It was a long, tedious day and very expensive for her. She needed someone there, to support her, provide a calming view and to help her out. We met some nice people, spent some good time together and even had dinner together afterward. I was there when she needed me.

There was a different voice during this time. Not the one wondering if I should be someplace else or the one wondering if I should be doing something else.

This voice quietly said "This is where you need to be, This is what you should be doing." Paying attention to THAT voice is even more important than the other voice. Don't miss those moments. They are precious.

I was right where I was supposed to be. I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.

Divided yet whole...

My wife and son are visiting her parents this weekend. I'm home with our two daughters. They did not want to make the trip. Both had a long week and just wanted to chill out at home. I can understand that so I stayed, too. I had some spring chores to do in the yard and such.

So, this weekend we are a family divided. Divided by distance but not in our hearts. Funny thing about technology, you can allow it to separate you or you can use it to keep you together. My son sends me pictures from his phone when he is away. It let's me know what he is up to and it also allows me to share his trip. That keeps us close. He'll share all he did when he returns, which is always good to hear.

We'll regale him and his Mom with our feats of wonder, too. Sharing keeps us close. It reminds us who we are and why we are. Those memories are the bonds that bind.

I'm no expert but I suspect that while Jesus walked with the disciples and performed miracles he was not just doing it for the people affected nor to legitimize him as the Christ. I suspect it was to provide a bond for the disciples for when he was gone. They'd need that to carry on the great commission.

We are planning to visit friends this summer in OH. They are such wonderful people and we adore them. I've learned that with trips it is not just the trip itself that can be fun and provide memories but the planning and time leading up to it can also be fun and memorable. We talk about the trip and the last visit. We laugh, we cut up and we long for going and being with people we like.

I'm planning a trip to the Air Force museum in Dayton. I'm not sure everyone is as excited as am I but it is all part of the give and take of a trip. Besides a little bit of education never hurt anyone. And, it will be something else we can laugh at and talk about. Another memory to bind.

Today is Easter. I'm not with my whole family but we are still together. We don't have to be next to each other to love each other and share the times we have.

Somethings I just don't get used to...

I turned on the switch in the dining area a bulb blew. Nothing new about that. I guess over the years it has happened a hundred or more times. Yet, I still jump. You'd think I'm used to it by now, but no.

The reason may well be it does not happen often enough in a short enough span for me to get used to it and to suspect it will happen. I get lulled into a false sense of security that the lights will come on when I hit the switch since the do so often. Then, out of no where...BAM!

We think we'd learn but we take things for granted until they don't do what we expect.

I think life is that way. We can assume things will always be like this (good or bad) until they aren't. We can assume our wives will always be there and then something changes.

We think our kids are perfect until they aren't.

I love my kids and they've not disappointed me. Are they perfect? Nope, but they do have a sense of right and wrong. I've not assumed they'd know this and always do it. I try to be in their lives, asking questions, reading report cards, attending events and being involved in their activities at school or elsewhere. I figure if I find it and nip it in the bud early it is never a problem.

I wish I could do bulbs like that.

Enjoying the success of others...

If kids have taught me anything (and they've taught me so many things) it is to enjoy and celebrate the success of others. That simple lesson has spilled over into so many areas of my life in so many ways.

I'd like to think I was not jealous of others success before. I just didn't know how to enjoy their success and celebrate it. I was never mad about it, never envious nor resentful. I just didn't know how to enjoy it and celebrate it. I guess I was neutral, happy for them but not sure how to respond because I didn't know what or how to feel. Plus, like many kids and young adults I was focused on my world too much.

Kids changed that. They go through so many trials and each is a major success. From the first da-da (I'm pretty sure they said that first...) to the first step, potty training (that was easy to celebrate!) to the first date, college and job. I didn't learn to celebrate these because they were milestones or because they were just my kids. I'd learned that they make them a better person, they are a reward for effort and I was really, truly and genuinely happy and excited for them. The joy on their face, the happiness I knew they had. I felt it. I enjoyed it and I celebrated it.

I'm sure God gave me kids to learn many things and I've tried to hear what he was wanting me to know and learn.

A follower of this blog, Becky, makes the most wonderful ceramics, especially birds! She, like other potters I know, makes amazing art and pots with clay. I truly enjoy her work. Her talent makes us all better. I have friends that work hard in their church, helping others and making the world I better place for all of us. I enjoy their success and celebrate the talents they have. I have a friend who is the CFO of a major company. I'm so happy for him and all that he has accomplished. He's a great guy and went out of his way to help and befriend a lowly freshman at Carolina. He's made an impact on people his whole life.

I'm fortunate to know and have known some amazing people. They make me better by knowing them and for that, I'm glad to celebrate!

Blowing my top...

Brittany, the middle child, the college girl is heading to Iceland this summer...well in about 2 months! Yesterday a volcano erupted in Iceland about 40 miles from where they will be staying. This volcano has not erupted since the 1800's and it has to pick NOW to erupt! AND the experts are predicting this is precursor to the eruption of one of the active ones that just so happens to be about 40 miles from where they'll be staying!

She says the advisers are on top of it (the situation, not the volcano) and that the monks in the monastery (next to the hostel/school where they will live) take lawn chairs out and watch the volcano when it erupts. This is supposed to make me more comfortable??

So, to reassure my self I do a little more research and find that Iceland straddles the American and European tectonic plates and is actually splitting itself apart by 10 cm per year!

I'm trying to keep calm but when you are a Dad and your baby girl is involved and it is about volcanoes....well let's just say its hard to not build up a head of steam of worry. If I'm not sleeping well now what will in be like when she is actually there?

Real or paper?

I don't like paper plates. I can eat a sandwich from them and can handle them for picnics. But otherwise, I like real plates. My kids would prefer paper plates every meal, but then they have to do the dishes.

I think there is something civilized about real plates, solid flatware and real glasses at a real table. I think it provides a sense of permanence that is important to a family. I think it also helps us slow down, enjoy the meal and talk both during and after.

I do admit that when I'm standing over the sink or dishwasher paper plates are a tad tempting!

New definition for "Friend"?

Do we need a new definition for "friend"?



With the advent of the Internet, cell phones, texting and mobile access to everyone and anyone do we need to redefine the meaning of "friend"? I've thought about this just little over the last couple of years. It was brought up again in my mind today based on a Facebook posting and a subsequent question from someone I've known for a while.



We seem to want to redefine things a lot lately. Marriage, family, parents, conception, healthcare, right, wrong, work hours, ethics to name a few. I'm not sure everything needs to be redefined. Sometimes we need new words with new meanings to describe the new things we see. I read that there are 540,000 words in the English language. That is 5 times more than when Shakespeare was alive. This is both amazing and what we'd expect. I doubt Will had much use for the word computer or terabyte. Then again, some days I'm not sure I do!

I don't think we need a new definition...we have and will continue to have personal definition of "Friend" like we always have. I suspect we resist, at least internally, the imposition of definitions we don't hold true to ourselves. That is if you have that internal compass that tells you right from wrong, when to stand true and not "go along with the crowd".

If you don't then you won't stand for something and you'll then fall for anything, my friend!

Counter Intuitive...

I'm often fascinated with things that are or seem to be counter intuitive. I soak/marinate poultry in very salty water for about an hour a pound. When I first heard of this I could not imagine it being anything but really salty meat. It is not at all. It just makes what is normally dry meat very moist after cooking.

Medicine can be the same as can food. Things that taste bad have to be bad for us right? And things that taste good are good for us. Often this is true but sometimes it is the opposite.

Life can be like this, too. Exercise, change, new jobs, and yes, even sex. I know many people that fight change and I'm often amazed. They know it is going to happen but they still fight it. We all do that, too, with things in our lives. Sometimes in a big way and sometimes in a small way.

I need to get more exercise. I hate to "work out" and I'm struggling to find a way to exercise that gets my heart rate up and is something I like doing. With the weather getting better I'm hoping to do hiking, geocaching and some metal detecting. Now, if I do all three at once do I get credit for 3 or just one? It seems intuitive that I'd get credit for 3, right?

Yeah, I thought so and that brings me back to where I started.

Simple vs. Complex...

I like things that I use everyday to be simple. I don't want to have to think too much when doing things . They need to be easy to operate, do, interface with and understand. They need to have no more than 2 steps to complete. More than that and you are into the complicated range.

I visit a lot website for work or personal. I'm amazed at how little attention is given to things that can make the experience so much better for the customer/user of the sites. A prime example is entering a phone number. If they have 3 boxes they never auto tab for you. Nope, you have to tab. A very simple programming item but a huge interface item. Or, if there is just one box, no auto hyphens. I've started a revolt by just entering all 10 digits together with out hyphens. I figure if they wanted them they should put them in. I know, it is not a big revolt, but I'm voting with the ballot I have.

Another item that bugs me is asking for city and state when you've already asked for my zip! Duh! Most systems auto check it anyway so go ahead and fill it in. Again, a SMALL programming item with bit interface potential.

American Express Travel services site offers you hotels based on the airport you fly into. They don't allow you to change the city for the hotel! Oh, you can pick another hotel but not as part of the "discount package". What a pain. I have to imagine that many travelers like me fly into one city and drive to another. If they offered this option I'm sure I'd take advantage of it.

Airline sites are another bug of mine. US Airways will select a "best match" based on the criteria you enter for flights. I've yet to see that "best match" be close to what I entered! The price is always higher than others and the time is virtually NEVER close to what I entered. I'm sure they are offering what is best for them, but I don't care about that.

All of these things take time and that is time away from my family. It is also just stupid and careless work. I encourage my kids to do a job and do it the best you can, regardless of what it is. They are the ones that will be using and building these sites one day. I hope they do a better job.

Two and a half months to go...

My youngest daughter is going to Iceland this summer. She leaves in 2 and a half months. Her passport came Saturday and I'm already missing her! Her books for the trip (she's taking 2 classes) have come in and that just adds to it.

I'm glad she's going and we've encouraged her to go but that doesn't mean I miss her any less.

She's blogging about the trip. Keep up with her at http://chanceofalifetimeiceland.blogspot.com/ .

She is just home from a Model Arab League conference in SC. She's always on the move with something or other. She has promised us she's going to sleep the whole week. We'll see. If she tries I'll wake her up so I can talk to her. I've got to store up some face time with her since she's going to be gone for a whole month!

Travel...

I was out of town last week for several days. No big deal. I've traveled hundreds of times over the years. Yes, things have changed in the last 30 years but somethings haven't. Security is one of the biggest changes. I remember when there was no security, then a little bit, then more and then a lot. I remember when families were at the gate to greet people. Given the congestion I'm glad they are now in baggage claim if they show up at all.

Flight attendant are about the same, except there are more men and the women are regular people. Some older, some younger, some slim and some not slim. I remember when they were all slim and young. I like regular people being there.

Pilots...more women. I like that OK. Glad they're finally getting their due. But pilots in general seem younger. That does not inspire confidence. Captain Sully inspires confidence. Pilots need experience...but with other passengers. Not me.

Planes are both different and the same. Seats are still too close and too small (OK, they seemed bigger years ago but I think that was me more than the seat). Knowing the tricks of travel are more important than ever. Frequent flyer programs are never good. If you get enough miles to get something free it just means you've flown too much and been away from home too much.

Commuter planes are better and worse. You see a lot of small jets now but they are making longer trips. Good and bad.

People still fall into 2 categories. Those that travel for business and are "road warriors" and those that aren't. We that travel get a little annoyed with the delays of those that don't travel much. We shouldn't but we do. I try to help them when possible. I find that people are people even when they travel. Their personal bubble gets very small, but it is still there and still your private space. Most regular travelers don't want to talk unless they know you real well and are a buddy. Otherwise, quiet is the word.

Earphones are the norm. Most people wear them even if they don't care about the music. It prevents others from talking to them. Respect the space is the key.

I can travel for a whole week with a carry-on bag and a briefcase. Amazing what we learn to do.

Luggage is much better now than before, too. Get a good, solid and dependable bag if you travel a lot. You don't want problems and you always want dependability. My favorite brand is Ogio. Incredibly well built, not overly expensive and will last forever.

I came home this week and my 16 year old son came running out when I got home. He gave me a huge hug and told me he missed me. That is better than anything! That is what makes travel bearable. Coming home. Be sure you have that to come back to.

Taxes

I'm working on our taxes. Never, ever is it a sit down and just do them and get them done kind of chore. Nope, I start out with the basics from Diann and then as I enter them I learn of other things I need...more items for deduction and research on what something means, etc. Every year is either very different for the tax laws or for us.

I don't mind paying taxes. It is the tax returns I hate. I'm not a fan of the flat tax idea. I think the variable tax we pay encourages people to buy a house, invest, save and other things. A flat tax takes some of that away just to "make it easy" on us. Also, the fallacy that the rich don't pay taxes also bugs me. Sure they do. Do they get deductions the rest of us may not, sure, but those encourage them to invest in businesses that employee the people that complain about their tax breaks. I guess a little knowledge is dangerous.

I think I get a great deal for my taxes. I live in the greatest country in the world. I can travel without restrictions and don't need to show "papers" to do so. My taxes are not too high for what I get. No, I don't like $400 toilet seats the government buys. I think we need to root out those instances and those people/policies and get rid of them. But, that is part of my responsibility as a citizen. I'm to call my government on such waste and either they change or I get someone in there that will! We vote with our ballots and our dollars. It works.

Now, if I could just get through these returns!

Blogging...the next generation

Well, my baby is going to Iceland this summer. She got her acceptance letter today. I naturally assumed she'd go all along so acceptance was a foregone conclusion for me. But, this makes it official, which makes it all the more real.

If it was me I'd get focused on the trip and totally forget about the classes in front of me. She'll keep focused. It is her nature.

Follow her adventure at: http://chanceofalifetimeiceland.blogspot.com/ . She's blogging about the trip starting with her acceptance and prep and then the trip. I'm proud of her and I'm excited another generation is blogging, too.

Just two teaspoons...

I made cinnamon rolls today. I love to cook but I don't bake too much. Just not usually my thing. I've been trying to do more of it lately to get better at it. Today I made cinnamon rolls using a simple recipe that was pretty straight forward.

I've found that when following a recipe I get in a hurry. I don't know why, it is not like its going anywhere. And when I get in a hurry I'll miss a step or ingredient. I can usually fix it so it is not usually a big deal. You'd think I'd learn but apparently not.

Today everything seemed to go really well. I mixed the filling (using Splenda, good for me) and it was awesome. I mixed the dough, rolled it out and it looked great. Spread the filling, rolled it up, cut it and baked it. They looked good when they came out. I put the icing on and thought I was all ready.

One bite and I knew something was just a little off. While done, they just tasted a little "floury" or something. They were good and the filling was awesome but the bun part was a little off. I thought through everything and couldn't figure it out. When I went back to the recipe I realized I'd left out 2 teaspoons of sugar from the flour mixture.

Now, 2 teaspoons of sugar in a cinnamon bun recipe doesn't sound like much and it isn't. Except it is needed in the bun mix to take off the flour edge. It is all the difference.

Life is like this, too. There are things we don't like to do but need to force ourselves to do so we can get good at them, learn from them and, if we do them right, have something wonderful to show for it when we finish. Even if we don't succeed 100% we almost always come away with a better education than when we started.

To me, the biggest thing I learned is that it is not the size or the amount of the ingredient in a recipe. It is the impact it has on the finished product. Life is like that, too. It does not have to be big but if not given at the right time it can have big results. Likewise, if given at the right time, in the right amount the result can be stellar.

To me, telling my kids that I love them is much like the two tablespoons of sugar. It is a little thing but it is so important to what I want them to know about me, about themselves and about how to let others know how important they are to you.

What is a friend...

I was reminded recently of what being a friend is all about. The definition I learned in high school came flooding back.

Friend: It is not the out stretched hand nor the kindly smile. It is the spirited inspiration that comes when one believes in you and trusts in you.

I think that is still the best definition I've found. I've been lucky enough to have friends like that through my life. I've found that time is not part of the definition. Friends can be from way back, that you've not seen in ages and they can be new. They don't always have to see you at your worst nor at your best. Sometimes they just know the "you" that is "you" in spite of those things and even in spite of not seeing those times.

I think my friends forgive me for being me all the time. I have a friend from college that once told me that the best part of being your friend is I got your whole family along with it. She's someone I met when she was a freshman and we've just hung out ever since. My kids love her and I think she's closer to Diann than me! At least as long as we give her Hershey kisses! There is always foil wrappers around when she leaves.

Some friends are newer. We've met at band performances with our kids in high school, or through just being neighbors. They are parents like us and getting older, too.

I reconnected with another friend recently from way back. It is good to connect and catch up. We've all traveled our paths and each journey has been varied. Older friends are different. They knew you before you did anything. You were full of optimism, passion and invincible. To still like you is a testament to them more than you.

I'm looking at another friend right now. Talk about seeing you at your best and worst! She's seen it all and then some. Yet, she still thinks I'm great. I'm glad we found each other. She still fills me with that spirited inspiration, at least she does when she puts her hands on her hips and says my whole name in that specific tone. Suddenly the kids run and I'm alone. At that point I'm just looking for a kindly smile or an out stretched hand!

Being a man...

In the "old days" there were rites of passage for boys to become men. Today, some are still practiced even though they are now ceremonial. In a world that is complex, technologically advanced and full of so much opportunity for harm, what are the rites of passage into adulthood for a boy to become a man?

Before I go further, I think girls face the same thing. They have their rites of passage, too. I think these have changed over the years, too. Even though I have two daughters I'm no expert on what girls/women think so I'll defer a discussion on that to someone better qualified.

My son is putting tick marks beside the items on the list of things that let you know a boy is a man. He does them regularly and I'm amazed at how well he handles it and how natural they seem to come to him. Learning to drive, asking a girl out, dating, getting your license, car dating and today he took another step. He's been collecting aluminum cans and other metals for several years. He's made hundreds of dollars recycling metal from things just laying around either here or from his grandfather's. The recycling is not the big thing so much as what he did today. I've always gone with him to take the recycling. Today he went with his sister and handled it himself. He did not need Dad tagging along, looking over his shoulder.

He and I went to buy new shoes for him Thursday evening. It was fun and we cut up while running the errand. He is easy to shop with. He finds what he wants, makes a decision and we are done. Well, the shoes had a defect and came a part the first day. Tonight, his sister ran him over there and he returned them himself.

The great thing about this really comes in two parts. He and his sister are close and do things together. I'm glad she's there to help keep an eye on him. It is what family does. The other thing is that he has taken responsibility and wants to do this himself. He's stepping out to do those things that others have done with him or for him in the past.

I'm a little sad while being so proud. He's the youngest of my three and it seems not long ago that he held on to my finger as we went places together. Now, he's off on his own. I already miss him more than I can tell. Yet, he still seeks me out to tell me good night and give me a hug. I'm sure he does that more for me than for him. His whole life I've referred to him as my man-child. He's always been large for his age and with two daughter's it helped distinguish him from them. I'm not so sure I can use that term much longer. He's a man now. He's my son in whom I am well pleased.

Hanging on to the past...

Why do we hang on to the past? What is it that makes it so hard to let go?

I'm not talking about grudges or revenge, that is bad enough and we know that eats us up inside. No, I'm talking about things we decided to let go from our lives but we hang onto mementos of. We all have them. Ask any woman and she'll open her jewelry box and pull out rings, pins, bracelets or other baubles of boys/men gone by. They'll open shoe boxes with letters, programs or notebooks with the names of boys they liked. Melt the gold/silver down? They'd tell you it is practical and they should do it and they probably wouldn't yell if you insisted but they'll just put it back in the box, with a smile. I don't think many of them ever pine over the items or probably think of them that much. But if a child or husband takes them out they get a little far off look for a moment then laugh.

My wife has some of those. At first my practical self just could not grasp it and she offered to get rid of them if they bothered me. Part of me wanted to let her do it but I didn't. I don't know why I didn't but it just seemed right to do. She put them back and there they've stayed.

As I've gotten older I have come to realize that they are part of who she is. Getting rid of them would not change who she is but they help her hold on to her past that helped her make who she was and, I hope, bring her to be with me. It is like the high school yearbooks we all keep. Those pictures of us in our "weird" clothes of the times (leisure suits...yes I did) and our different hair styles. We are not wild about seeing them now but we can't quite throw them away. We claim it is for our kids to see and to know we were young once but that is not it. I think we keep them to remind ourselves we were young, idealistic and going to change the world.

No, we didn't create world peace and we've not fed all the hungry but we've changed the world. Some for good, others for bad and for some, they never got the chance.

I'm not sure men keep as many things. We are maybe too care free and not as sentimental. I don't have many things from that era. Except a trunk full and some boxes and a couple of storage bins...but they don't count. They are not mementos to help me remember my youth. Nope, they are for my kids. Yep, that is it. So they don't count.

Besides, I have the thing I wanted most from back then. She puts up with me and reminds me of many great times. I'm glad she keeps things from the old days because now, I'm one of those things and I like being kept by her. Now, if I could just get this jewelry box open and get out!

Perspectives and Priorities...

We all view things from different vantage points and with different contexts based on what we've previously experienced and seen and heard. Having different points of view is what makes us unique. Priorities are much the same way. The priorities we set are based on who we are, what we've seen, done and want. We each have out own and they make us unique, too.

I was talking to a friend from high school this week (talking = email) and I was reminded of when I was in Grad School. I'd reached the point in life I wanted to do something and I thought an MBA sounded fun. I love to study business so it seemed like a good idea. Before I started I sat down and thought about what I was under-taking, what else I had on my plate and how it would fit in. I made a firm decision that it would not come before Family or work. Family would be number 1 and work would be 2 and then school. I had a new 2 year old and we'd have another before I finished so I had to decide now before I got in the middle and then decided.

Making decision before you need to always helps. You think clearer, you are more rational and rationalize much less.

I look at grades as two things: A measure of how you do and a reward for effort. In this program you graduated with honors ONLY if you got all A's. You could make no more than 2 C's to graduate. So, the way I looked at it was I needed two A's to cover 2 C's I might make. Anything over 2 A's was a waste unless I got all A's. Remember, A's represent a lot of effort. B's less so.

Well, I'd been in the program a while and was down to my last 2 classes and I had all A's. Pressure was on to graduate with honors. I had a final exam that night so I'd decided to take a half day off to study. My daughter, hearing that I'd be taking off early, asked if I'd come have lunch with her at school. She was so excited. My wife, trying to cover for me started to explain that I had a test and was very busy. The look in her little face brought back my priorities in full force. I knew that in 10 years no one would care about the grade but she always remember the lunch.

So, I stopped on the way home, picked up her lunch at McDonald's and had lunch with her and her friends. I taught them to play table football with a folded sheet of paper and we had 70 kids around the lunch table cheering and yelling and having a ball! What fun! Now, I know that I was disruptive and I could see that the teachers were not sure what to do with a parent creating such fun but every kids there still remembers it. And, let's face it, table football is a critical skill to have.

I got my A in the class. I'm sure I did well because I was happy with my decision and that made me more relaxed.

My daughter tells that story all the time. I always think that I was close to forgetting my priorities. She has a different perspective, she thinks I have the right priorities.

In my sights!

OK, this is going to be an angry post. Sorry, but I need to get it out.

I'm gunning for ground hogs! If I see one, it is mine...bagged and tagged! I'll have it mounted and on the wall in record time. I'm going to get my legal limit and get my friends to ante up, get license and let me hunt for them. We've got to get rid of EVERY ground hog in the country. E-V-E-R-Y S-I-N-G-L-E O-N-E OF THEM! They are an official scourge on the country and are clearly part of an evil plot to destroy this country.

What? You've not hear about this? Where were you in the second grade when they taught us this? Huh? Where were you?

6 more weeks of winter? You have got to be kidding me! I've had it. Here I sit, watching it rain, it is cold and they are calling for snow this afternoon and night! No more snow this year. Stop it. SPRING! I need SPRING.

Oh no, not that 2 days thing we had this past weekend, no! I need real spring. Budding trees, green grass, birds chirping, flowers blooming, hay fever and frolicking in the fields! I've got kites in the closet begging to be flown!

Yep, I'm bagging me a "whole mess" of those ground hogs. At least I will as soon as I can get out of the house when the snow clears and the fear of frost bite is gone. Till then, I've got the gun oil out and the long johns on!

Prom...

I remember the prom. Anticipation, anxiety, awkwardness and just plain scary! That time is coming up for my son. He is thinking about going with his friend who is a girl...not exactly a couple but they date, like each other and are in no hurry to smother each other. They spend a lot of time apart, don't see each other most weekends but do celebrate holidays together and go to movies and the fair. It works for them. They are both busy.

My son seems low key about the whole prom thing. I know those still waters run deep. I just nudge him on it. I know getting a limo (we never had that when I was a kid) and a tux is NOT a last minute thing so I told him to plan for it if he was going. He's working it out in his way, which works for him and her.

Me? I'm more of a planner. Don't like things left to chance. I've traveled with people that just figure it out as they go along. It works for them most of the time so I guess that is OK. Just sometimes it doesn't and they get stranded or having to accept arrangements less than ideal and I've seen how this affects the others in the group. Not particularly good. Thinking of the group is something I'm not sure we do that well. I think it is a learned trait and some just don't learn it.

Being on time is a thing with me. I like to be early or at least on time. Making people wait sends a message that your time is more important than theirs and I don't like those messages and games. An appointment is a contract. You honor it.

I had a doctor once in Richmond who's office explained that if I was late for an appointment they'd charge me a late fee. I asked why and they said the Dr.'s time was valuable. I said OK. The doctor made me wait for an hour. I did not particularly like him as a physician (my first visit) and when I checked out I deducted $25 from the bill when I paid. The lady handling payments informed me I owed more money and I explained that I waited an hour and that was my charge. My time is valuable, too. I think most doctor/patient appointments are a semi-solid agreement. If he's a little late or I'm a little late we deal with it. I am not there to wait on him because he can't schedule effectively and is maximizing his income. Yeah, I know this is harsh. My current doctor makes me wait once in a while but that is OK. When we are together he gives me all the time we need to discuss what we need and for me to ask questions. He always digs to make sure I'm doing OK and nothing has changed. I like that. I figure he does that with others and things come up. So I cut him some slack. Give and take. Oh, and he is a great physician and actually has some personality.

I'm getting more regular with my "annual" check ups. I put annual in quotes because I've not gotten them down to yearly yet but 18-24 months and that is WAY better than ever. I don't look forward to them and I don't know how women can be so good about keeping annual appointments. No way I ever would be but as I get older I figure it is more important.

I know one thing, if I was going to the prom I'd need a physical, stress test and a cardiac work up. The stress would get me and the dancing would be exhausting. But the thing that would get me the most would be shelling out the money for the tux and limo now. Way more than when I was in school

I guess it is not a good idea for me to go to the prom. I'm not sure how I'd explain it to my wife or my son.

Life...

I don't have all the answers to or about life. In fact, I'm not sure I even have a majority of the questions. I'm amazed that there are people who are intent on "finding the meaning of it all". I'm satisfied to find the meaning of just parts...and I think I have.

Don't get me wrong, I'm inquisitive by nature, don't like unsolved mysteries and love to learn. But I've never understood why you'd focus on what you don't have when you've got some much you do have to figure out! Seriously, I'm neither a half-full nor half-empty person. Sometimes it is one, sometimes it is the other...I'm more of a I've got a glass person. (I don't know exactly what that means but I'm working on it!)

What I've figured out is that life, or at least part of it, is my family. Watching them, just listening to them, talking with them and being with them is amazing! They constantly fill me with joy and I'm glad and thankful every day that I have them.

I had breakfast with my sister this morning. She was looking good, much better than I saw her last. She looked tired when I saw her last. I like being with her. She is fun, likes to talk and has a sense of humor to which I can relate...we shared a lot growing up and that makes it easy to talk.

I don't know where you stand with God or religion but if you don't think there is one, I'd like to hear your thoughts on why that is. As for me and my family, we know there is. I hear him in the quiet of the morning, I see him in the dark of the night as I look up in the sky. I see him in my children and wife every day. I don't know if I always see God when I'm in a church. I suspect there is another entity there sometimes looking to cause a little mischief. Oh, yeah, I think there is evil in the world. I've seen that, too. I've seen it in the hatred in the face of people, I've heard it in the words spoken to others.

I'm not perfect. I'm the least of God's children but he still loves me and Jesus still lifts me up to his father and claims me.

I'm not sure God gives us the meaning of life. I think he wants us to figure that one out on our own. I don't know about you but figuring things out makes them mean more to me and makes them more real. It also provides me tools for when I need them later. Kind of like feed a man a fish or teaching him to fish.

I'm not sure I'll even know the meaning of life, but I'm getting closer to the meaning of my life. And that is pretty good, especially when I see my kids.

Good from bad...

Mistakes or troubles often, if you are open to it, can be doors to opportunity, wisdom and insight. If we are not open to them, if we close ourselves off, if we focus on ourselves they can make us frustrated, angry and closed off to those insights and to the world.

Yesterday was pretty much like any other day but everything I typed just seemed to come out wrong. I'm a pretty open person and I like to be funny and have fun with things. I posted on a friends facebook what sounded funny in my head. When I saw the posting it looked as if I did not take her posting seriously and it looked petty at best. I posted an apology and she was fine and even deleted it for me (she was fine to leave it up but took pity on me). She is an old friend from high school and I think she remembered my gregarious ways and just took it as intended. Friends do that.

I made another posting about a cake I was making. The term did not include the word cake. For some reason the recipe for the cake and the person in Scotland that told me about the cake did not use the word cake in the description so I thought I was doing the right thing. Well some of my facebook buddies had some fun with me. They are dear people and poking fun is also what we do to friends. It keeps us human, reminds us we are not infallible and it also tells us that people love us even with our mistakes and weaknesses.

While I was pondering it the story of Elisha came to mind. Elisha was a prophet (Old Testament) and an army was sent to get him. His servant was scared and knew they were going to be killed. Elisha calmly looked around and saw the angels of God and explained that more were with them than against them. I realized yesterday that in life, more are with me than against me! I'm blessed with many friends, family and co-workers that pick me up when I'm down, support me through tough times, let me help them when they need it and love me even with my failures.

As I've told my kids from day one: "There is nothing you can do to stop being my son/daughter and there is nothing you can do to stop the love I have for you." They rely on that, it makes them stronger and gives them to confidence to learn life's lessons. I had "one of those days" yesterday. No, it was not a big deal, it was not particularly frustrating but out of it I was reminded that people do care, friends are there.

I'm glad I was not so focused on me and my mistakes that I missed a great reminder of life. So, if you are having a bad day, send me a note, tell me what you've done and I'll make fun of you. Just know when I do, I care. I promise, I really do, no matter how it sounds.

WalMart...love 'em or hate 'em?

A family member posted a note on FB about a scene in a local (to them) Walmart. It seems someone or group was stealing, got caught, fought the cops and got tased when they went for the cop's gun. The posting caused several people to post notes about hating Walmart and even paying more to not shop there.

I don't get it. I love Walmart. I like the store, I like the selection, I like the convenience, I like the stocked shelves and I like the prices. I like what them as a company because I think they have a positive impact on our lives in many, many ways.

Now, I don't shop. I buy. What I mean is that I don't go to "look around and see what is there" but I go to buy specific things and I leave. It can be many things or just one thing but I have a list, I know what they have and I get out. I don't buy clothes there (but I'm fine if others do) but I have bought some electronics, I do buy food there on a semi-regular basis and I do pick up fishing tackle when needed and when I change my own oil I get it there. Can't get that selection at Target or any other store. I like the ease for shopping that it gives me.

Generally, I'm pleased with the people that work there and find them nice, helpful and pleasant.

Walmart has had a huge impact on the price of drugs. Their innovative $4 for a month supply of generic drugs was HUGE. There are other things but suffice it to say they change how companies do business.

What amazes me is that I've seen way, way more stealing and fighting at malls than I've ever seen at or near a Walmart. I just don't go to malls. I don't like the crowds, the slow moving people that are "shopping".

Amazing how something as simple as a store can polarize people.

Keep your eyes open!

I like pottery. I don't own much but I do like it. I follow some potters blogs and am always inspired. Hannah McAndrew (http://hannahmcandrew.blogspot.com/) in Scotland is one I follow. Amazing what she can do. I read her blog and while the shipping and exchange rates are hampering my purchases it is the still a joy to read her blog and see her work.

Life is about enjoying things you may not be able to own. I don't covet them or desire them beyond all else but I like them. The simple beauty and complex design and hard work that go into them is impressive and inspiring. I'll own some one day. The anticipation is sweet.

But, there is more to this story than unrequited desire for pots. Hannah will occasionally mention what she has cooked and show pictures. Today she mentioned a Victoria sponge she fixed for her husband (and herself). I found a recipe and am going to fix one. I'll enjoy it with "afternoon tea" tomorrow. It is a simple and easy recipe but sounds awesome.

If we focus on the "things" we want in life, whether we can have them or not, and get so focused we miss other things then we miss out on what life is about. I love her pottery but I like her blog and the life she describes, too. I'd hate to have missed the cake. I think I'm going to share it with my wife. We'll go "English" or "Scottish" for a while in the afternoon, think about a trip to Scotland and plan how many extra bags to take with us so we can bring back some awesome pots!

Birds leaving the nests...

Well, it looks like my baby girl is really leaving the nest this time. She headed to Iceland for a month this summer to study abroad. I'm so nervous but so happy for her. She sent off her passport application today. It is getting real very fast.

I don't know why this is so different and maybe it isn't. I'm always nervous when they are away from home but isn't that why we nurture them, teach them right from wrong, how to make decisions and stand up for themselves? I'm proud of my kids and how well they've done and the decisions they've made so far. I'm glad she has the confidence to not just go but to go for all the right reasons. She is an international studies major and this is just part of that plan. She plans to study in Japan for the fall semester if she can work it all out. That is a LONG way from home. I'm already working on my Asian contacts to see who is close by and who I know there. I've got contacts in Singapore that are solid. Now I need to get good contacts in Tokyo!

But, it isn't just my daughter. My son is leaving the nest, too. And although he is 4 years younger in many ways he is leaving faster. He recently got his license and went on his first car date this weekend. I was a nervous wreck. It was no big deal to him. Oh I so remember those days! He'll be much more independent and much sooner. Just the nature of things I guess.

Good thing I have Maddie here now. She'll keep me company...her and her cold nose and wagging tail.

Plain or Peanut M&M's?

I like M&M's. I have for as long as I can remember. They are a great candy. Compact, easy to eat and pretty much all you need. I've always liked both versions (for the moment, pretend there are only two versions, the almond, etc. versions are johnny-come-lately) but have been partial to the peanut ones. They were my favorites. My wife has bought them for me for years. Today, I realized that while I still like them I now prefer the plain ones over the peanut.

I don't think the M&M's have changed. I think I have. At first I was a little taken back and was not sure if I should mention it. But I realized that to not mention it was to deny myself a choice and to keep getting peanut ones as gifts. No fun there!

We, as humans, sometimes feel we can not change. Change is bad, right? Nope, not right. Change is just change. It is neither good nor bad. How we view it makes it good or bad and whether we admit it makes it good or bad.

I've never cared for pretzels. Just not my thing. Lately I've been eating them. Salty snack, easy to much on. What I like is that they are not as unhealthy as some snacks but my favorite thing is that Maddie, my beagle, likes them, too. So, when I am watching TV and she is sharing my spot with me I grab some pretzels and we snack together. There is something satisfying about sharing a snack with you dog.

If I'd been afraid to admit that pretzels were not so bad I'd have deprived myself of the experience of sharing time and a snack with my pup. Boy, would that have been a loss for me!

I'm still hot a huge fan of pretzels, but Maddie likes them so we'll keep them around. I'm thinking plain M&M's will go great with them!