I'm not talking about grudges or revenge, that is bad enough and we know that eats us up inside. No, I'm talking about things we decided to let go from our lives but we hang onto mementos of. We all have them. Ask any woman and she'll open her jewelry box and pull out rings, pins, bracelets or other baubles of boys/men gone by. They'll open shoe boxes with letters, programs or notebooks with the names of boys they liked. Melt the gold/silver down? They'd tell you it is practical and they should do it and they probably wouldn't yell if you insisted but they'll just put it back in the box, with a smile. I don't think many of them ever pine over the items or probably think of them that much. But if a child or husband takes them out they get a little far off look for a moment then laugh.
My wife has some of those. At first my practical self just could not grasp it and she offered to get rid of them if they bothered me. Part of me wanted to let her do it but I didn't. I don't know why I didn't but it just seemed right to do. She put them back and there they've stayed.
As I've gotten older I have come to realize that they are part of who she is. Getting rid of them would not change who she is but they help her hold on to her past that helped her make who she was and, I hope, bring her to be with me. It is like the high school yearbooks we all keep. Those pictures of us in our "weird" clothes of the times (leisure suits...yes I did) and our different hair styles. We are not wild about seeing them now but we can't quite throw them away. We claim it is for our kids to see and to know we were young once but that is not it. I think we keep them to remind ourselves we were young, idealistic and going to change the world.
No, we didn't create world peace and we've not fed all the hungry but we've changed the world. Some for good, others for bad and for some, they never got the chance.
I'm not sure men keep as many things. We are maybe too care free and not as sentimental. I don't have many things from that era. Except a trunk full and some boxes and a couple of storage bins...but they don't count. They are not mementos to help me remember my youth. Nope, they are for my kids. Yep, that is it. So they don't count.
Besides, I have the thing I wanted most from back then. She puts up with me and reminds me of many great times. I'm glad she keeps things from the old days because now, I'm one of those things and I like being kept by her. Now, if I could just get this jewelry box open and get out!
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