In-laws...New people in our families to love

Time to talk about in-laws...This came to me because my sister-in-law called me this week just to check in. Now, she is married to my wife's brother so that makes her like a double sister -in-law since two marriages had to happen to make us related.

I like her. I'm pretty picky about people and as we all know very opinionated. But, I like her. She remembers the kids birthdays (and sends presents), calls regularly (not often but regular) and she reads my blog (that alone is reason enough to like her :) ) to keep up with the family. She has been supportive as I figure out what I want to do for work and look for work. She sends me notes on meetings, ideas, etc. She's been there, done that and got the t-shirt. I appreciate her support, calls and notes. You sometimes feel alone in the nether world of the jobless and I like the support she gives. If you ever meet her watch out for her infectious grin. Thanks B!

My brother-in-law, not the one married to the sister-in-law above but the one married to my sister is a good guy. He is not talkative but is steady, a great husband to my sister and has done yeoman duty for my niece and nephew. For a quiet guy he is funny. I've not seen him in several months and need to just get my butt over there to say hello. He is the type of guy to not call but would come if I called. I'm surprised I like him so much since we are so different but I think we revel in the differences and in the ways we are alike. When we are together we give my sister a lot of grief, which is the job of any brother. You da man, N!

My brother-in-law that is married to the sister-in-law above is a good guy. I've never spent much time with him but I like him. An avid golfer he shoots in the low 80's to 70's on a regular basis and can shoot 36 holes in one day when the temp is 95 degrees! That is not stamina but it does begin with an "S". I've known him since he was about 9 and he has grown into a good man. Smart as all day. He can't remember a birthday from spit but he married to shore up that deficiency. OOPS! Sorry B! You thought he married for love.

I think my mother and father in-law deserve a whole 'nother posting. I adore them. They really are wonderful people. They've always been there for us and they'll do anything for the kids. I've watched them to learn how to be a grandparent. More on them later. Likewise, my brother-in-law from my other sister. I need time to discuss that one.

Don't know why I wrote this. Maybe because in-laws are like appendix to a family. Part of it but no one knows what they do and if you take them out it hurts but you can live just fine. I'm not sure I feel that way. I think they ARE family and I'd not be the same without mine, not at all.

When we had a child my wife calmed my fear. I was so worried because I didn't know where the love would come from for a new family member. She explained it was new love for a child. She was right. When the second came along I again was concerned because I loved the first one so much I could not imagine sharing that love with another one. She explained there was no sharing, you just got a whole new set of love. She was so right.

God does that with in-laws, too. We need to open ourselves up to the love God gives us for these special people in our lives. If we don't we are missing something special! I am grateful for my in-laws, all of them. Thank you God for all your gifts.

Art, Clay jar or something else altogether...

Ron Philbeck is a talented potter. Click on his name for a link to his blog. He posted a simple question about what a potter should post for his wares. Wow, the last time I looked there were 42 comments! Every student of business, marketing and economics should read this! I had to pipe up with 2 posts. You know me, can't keep quiet about economics/business. By the way, visit his website and his selling site, too. You'll love his work and cherish it for a lifetime.

I read several of the blogs and have purchased pots from a couple of these potters and other potters as well. I found the comments to this blog especially interesting because they made me think, and not just about the economics of selling pots.

I have 2 jars Ron made for me. They sit on my kitchen counter and are used EVERYDAY! One contains salt and one contains pepper. We use them to cook, to season food at the table, prepping food and even when we are enjoying watermelon! (You gotta have salt on watermelon.) These are as much a part of our kitchen as the stove or the sink. I could not cook without them.

I also have a butter dish that Jen Mecca made. We love this but it stays mostly in the fridge. I don't use it for cooking, just for putting on the table. It is a little fancier but when cooking I'm measuring butter and well, it is just not a cooking item. (Sorry about the poor picture Jen!)

My family likes both of these. I like them because they serve a purpose for me AND I am supporting something and someones I think are good people. And I LIKE the pots!

Are they art or just utilitarian objects. I think both. They serve a useful function but we like them, they have meaning to use, we know the people that made them and people comment on them every time they see them! So it sounds like art but we use them regularly to fill a utilitarian need.

I guess this isn't a question that needs an answer or if so it is an answer that is different for everyone. I love the items and I like the people that made them.

Simple Pleasures...

I had a great evening! I went shopping (grocery) with my daughter Laura. She needed to pick up some salad items and I needed to take advantage of the double coupons up to $1.98 at Harris Teeter or as we call them "the teetah".

I took all my coupons of $1 or more and hit the road. We did not need a lot of things but at DOUBLE up to $1.98 I could not miss this. Between the store specials and the doubles I saved over $62! I spent $95 for $160 of groceries! Laura and I had fun going up and down the store looking, comparing and having fun. At least I did. One of my favorites was Lowry's marinade that we LOVE for chicken. It was bogo on sale and I had a $1.50 coupon! I got 2 bottles for $.28. Yes, 28 cents!

Then, while shopping we saw Sue Stock! She is the coupon queen! She works for the News and Observer (local newspaper) and has a blog and teaches classes all on how to save money and use coupons. She checked out when we did and saved $84! OMG! I was able to chat with her for a few moments. She is very nice and a pleasure to meet.

OK, that is my celebrity moment and big savings. I did a two-fer today!

Laura laughed at me all the way home! She got so tickled to see me stoked about something like this.

The simple pleasures...

We've all been there....well, most of us!

A friend from college sent this to me recently. While I've never gone this far I've sure wanted to! Take a look and see if this could have been you.

http://glumbert.com/media/baddayoffice

Kids...

Life gives us choices along the road it takes us. Those choices are often like Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken. Our choices make all the difference.

I was talking with a dear college friend of mine yesterday during her visit while returning from vacation at the beach. We were talking about choices and I told her that I'd not change a thing about my life since college. That was not a surprise to her but my daughter was there and she seemed a little surprised. My friend knows me well enough to know that I make a decision and go on. I don't live with "what ifs". You should think about your decisions in advance and look at the possibilities and determine the correct decision. Once that is made, don't look back.

Now this is not to say we don't remember history or learn from it. Far from it. I am a huge fan and disciple of history. That is part of wisdom that comes with age. What I am talking about is the "oh I wish I had" syndrome that I think we worry too much about. Living life this way just causes us to miss the present and impedes the ability to look forward to the future with anticipation instead of anxiety.

Oh sure, there are a number of things that I wish had turned out differently. We all have those. But how we deal with them, learn from then and don't dwell on them defines us as much as or more than the actual outcome of the choice made.

Ed Coleman, a friend and colleague of mine at GSK, gave me some great advice once. I was lamenting something and he looked at me and said "Al, you have a great wife, wonderful kids, a good job and lots of friends. Now, what was it you were saying?" I've not forgotten that to this day! At that time Ed was not married and did not have kids but wanted both. What a great lesson for me. Thankfully he has a wife and child now and I'm sure he is enjoying Father's Day. Happy Father's Day, Ed!

I am lucky to have 3 wonderful kids. Each as different from the other as night is from day, but all share many of the same traits. They keep family first, they are polite, they help others, they are self reliant and they love each other. They have personalities that make them unique but have learned how to balance that with the things that are important and bind them together and to their Mom and I.

My son is with his Grandfather for Father's Day but called me early today and sent me presents. He has called a second time. I've told him to enjoy the day and make it special for his Grandfather. I think he misses me and wants to be here but I'm glad he is with his grandfather. Those times are special, too.

My girls decorated the house with streamers and balloons. They had tons of presents for me. Coffee was ready when I got up and they fixed me my favorite breakfast. We are opened presents together and I got lots of things I like! Spending time with them is always the best present and I'd not trade it for the world. We are going to dinner tonight and they are baking a cake for me. Chocolate cake, chocolate icing and pecans! Now tell me, does it get any better than this? NO!

I think we'll watch a movie today, too. I'm hoping we can find The Paper Chase. Good, classic movie that I know they'll enjoy since they've had the college experience.

Sure, there are things I wish had gone differently. Sure there are things I'd rather have turned out better. But I'd not change one thing and risk not having the greatest kids in the world. We are a sum of our parts. We are the choices we've made. If this is so, I'll take my choices and their outcomes. I have the greatest kids in the world.

Thank you Laura, Brittany and AJ for a great father's day! I love you and I am proud of you!

A letter to my son...

Happy Birthday! 16 is a special time. It is another of life's transition times where you are not quite an adult but people expect you to act like one. The problem is you still think and are treated as if you were not an adult. It is not easy and no one ever really figures it out until they are older. But wait, then you are an adult and it is too late. So, don't sweat it and do enjoy it. The years are passing by so roll with them and just be you. A kid when you need to be and can. An adult when you want to be and need to be. There is Xbox for all the times in between.

I've watched you grow strong and smart. You think better, faster and in directions even I struggle to match. I am so proud of you. You are kind to those less fortunate and weaker. You look out for ways to help people. Those that would be bullies you don't tolerate and don't let them influence you. What great traits to have. I love you for all of these.

I've watched you grow from a small boy fascinated with big trucks and equipment to a man that works hard on the yard without complaining and makes money by recycling metal that others would throw away. You are generous with all you have and seem to have time to help everyone when asked. You'll try anything and master most everything. You care about everyone.

You struggle with classes that don't interest you and gobble up the ones that do. You stay ahead of your teachers in math but don't like wasting time showing the work. You know how to do it so why bother? I am constantly on you about these things. It is my job. But know that while I can't let you get away with them, I suffered the same way when I was your age. I see the value NOW in not doing things that way and want you to do better and not learn my lessons the hard way but I know that learning is what we do best. I'm proud of you and I love you.

I watch you help your sister with her gardening projects. I watch you take care of your Mom and help her in all things. I see you watch after her to make sure she is taking care of herself. I see you offer your candy to your sister and love her dog when she is away. I so love the hugs you give me each day just because you love me. I love you.

You'll have many triumphs in your life. You look to the future, you live life for now and you cherish the past. You put family first and do for others before you do for yourself. You are a wonderful son, a wonderful person and a wonderful friend. I am proud of you.

If I could have anything in the world and could change anything ever, I'd not change one thing about you. I love you the way you are and I am proud of who you are. I am proud to be your father.

I love you!

Dad

Layoff...

December 11, 2008 was the day I was laid off. I got the call about 9-ish that morning. I was working at my desk (home office) and got an email from a co-worker that she just got a call and was laid off. Very quickly my phone rang and I got the news, too.

I'd never gone through this and it was a shock. After 2-3 minutes the anger went away and my normal, calculating self went into action. I realized that there would be trying times ahead and I needed some ground rules for me to guide me. I promised myself that I would not panic, I would not worry and I would remain positive throughout the experience. Those 3 things have kept me on track and helped me and my family through the last 6 months.

During this time I've had conversations with companies that wanted me to move for jobs. Canada, California, and the northeast U.S. were all on the table. That was too big a change for the family and I've accepted that. Giving of yourself and your desires for your family is one of the trade-offs you make when you get married and have kids. I don't regret it and in fact it has helped me re-think what I want.

I've done the corporate world thing for 30 years and have loved it and done well. At first I just wanted to get back to it. Now, I'm realizing that I'm not so sure that is where I need/want to be after all. Travel for fun and vacation is one thing but for business it is another. I can do it and it is no big deal but being home is a lot more appealing! I am going to work with a local company doing sales, which was my first love, and if I like it I might buy the company. The owner wants to sell and this might be exactly what I've been looking for!

Talk about a 180 degree change! But not really. I like challenges, I like people and I like working. A dear friend put me onto this idea and is encouraging me to do it. She is the most positive person you can imagine and I know God sent her along to nudge me in a new direction. A lot has to happen for this to work out but it has given me a different excitement than I've had for some time.

I know the pharmaceutical industry very well. I've had the opportunity to do more things than most anyone I know. I love the industry and the people but things change and I change with them.

I truly believe that God sends us places to teach us things. I know he is trying to teach my hard head something. He closed one door but has graciously seems to be opening another. I'm ready for it more than I ever thought I'd be.

I am back! Long story so bear with me...

I stopped blogging for a number of reasons. None of them valid to anyone but me and now I'm not sure they were valid even for me. Let me bring me (and you) up to speed.

I started blogging for me but then I realized I was blogging for others as well and mostly for my family. But they just were not into reading the blogs (they liked them but are not PC people like I am) and I guess this impacted me and "hurt my feelings". Go figure! How awful of me to feel that way. Blogging is for me, first, and others next, I guess. I need the therapy of putting words to paper or clicks to the screen. It is not a personal thing towards me if the family does not want to read my blog. They hear me every day already. I guess I had an inflated view of my "words" or something.

As a note, Becky has been a great inspiration! Becky is someone I've developed a netship (a virtual friendship) with because I have followed some potters blogs (see the list) and she heard about my blog and has encouraged me. We linked up recently on facebook and she encouraged me to start blogging again. Thanks Becky. Maybe we'll meet one day and have coffee (in a Ron mug!) and a live conversation! Let me encourage you to support a potter. Using items that were made by people you can know and name add something special. Life is that way, too.

Next, I was laid off in a massive layoff the company I worked for had. What a tough experience! You question everything. More on that specific issue in a later post. I've been doing some soul searching over the last 6 months and I think I'm arriving in a new place. Not that we have a choice about these things because life is a journey and we don't always get to choose the exits and routes on which we find ourselves.

I'm going to post about jobs, life and other things to sort them out. Anyone reading this should bear with me. I'll take them through what I've been through and still going through. The good and the bad and the nether world stuff that I'm still figuring out. It has been amazing over the last 6 months. I wish I had shared it along the way but I think I needed to figure some stuff out. Not that I've got it all figured out but I'm getting there!

So, for now this is the start. It was hard doing this but now that I've started I'm glad. More to come.