Give and take...

I hate canned ham. OK, maybe hate is too strong a word. I eat it and I like the taste of it but I'd never fix if for myself. I'm not sure why. I love ham, especially when I cook them myself or if it is "real" ham. I love ham for sandwiches and we all know that is pretty much sliced canned ham. There is just something about canned ham that does not appeal to me.

My family likes it. My wife thinks it is a neat treat. So, I cook it, er uh actually "prepare" it is a better word since it is already cooked. I've tried spices in the oven, slices in a frying pan, pineapple and cloves in the oven but it is still not a big hit with me.

Today was canned ham day. I try to avoid them but here it was. I got home late and was kinda hoping it would be sandwich night...but nope. It was there, waiting for me, mocking me, making fun of me, daring me to "man up" and fix (yes, fix ... look at the definitions!) it for dinner.

Today, I decided to try something new. I cut it in slices while the ham was on its side. Each slice is the shape of the can. You know, sort of oval-ish. Not too thin, but nice and sorta thick. Then off to the grill. Yes, the grill. I was going to go all out and try and tackle this demon and get this monkey off my back.

It was the best canned ham I've had. But it was still canned ham. We had corn from the freezer (thank you Dorothy for putting this corn up last year) and frozen green beans (they were the bag kind you nuke for 5 minutes). I love frozen veggies. They are always fresher tasting. But it was still canned ham.

I ate my slice, enjoyed the corn and beans and washed it down with my favorite Laura drink. Pineapple juice and pineapple rum over ice. It helped but it was still canned ham.

All is not lost. I can dice up the leftover canned ham tomorrow morning and have a great omelet. Nothing like ham in an omelet with fresh hash browns! Thank God for the canned ham. I am so looking forward to breakfast now!

Words of wisdon...

I was talking about how my daughter talks with images. Instead of saying something seems scary or "too country" like a dirt road she says "I hear banjos playing". I think of "words of wisdom" much the same way.

Things like "living a country song moment" are important. What is this? I blogged about this ages ago but essentially it is doing something you could write a country song about. Mine is "I danced with a pregnant woman in the Waffle House and she wasn't my wife". Now this was not anything like it seemed and my wife was there when it happened and we were with friends who were pregnant. The act of the dancing is not important. What is important is recognizing and naming those events in like. They cement the memory. Memories are the fabric of our lives.

Memories are who and what we are. They are what we've done but also set the pattern for what we will do. I think it is important to build memories for yourself and your family. It is what they will hold onto and build with.

When I read things I do so in much the same way. I try to look at things a little differently. Today, Barry Saunders, columnist for the News and Observer here in Raleigh was talking about Random Acts of Kindness and paying it forward. Remember the movie with the little boy? Well he has some wisdom today that is important in life: "I don't think leaving an extra large tip for Bubblicious at Brothers III strip club at Christmas qualifies as paying it forward".

You gotta love this! This puts an image to the article. I found it very funny. That is wisdom to live by. I think me and my buddies leaving her extra large tips might be "paying it forward". When I asked my wife about this she just looked at me. I said, "yeah, if it is not kindness for Barry it probably is not for us." Amazing how her look had so many Words of Wisdom!

Banjo's are playing...

Kids are so funny. My daughter speaks in images and does it all the time, naturally. I love it. She spent the day with me the yesterday. I'm working with a friend in his fencing business and it is very interesting. She tagged along to see what I was doing and to hang with her Dad. she measured while I drew the diagram and made notes.

We were in Johnston county and driving to the appt. along a country road when she turns to me with a concerned look and said..."Dad, I'm not going to have to measure a whole farm am I?" I said no and explained it was a fence for a large yard. She was OK with that. After the appt. we headed to the next and the directions took us down a dirt road that was not in good repair at all. Being from the eastern part of the state I know well that dirt roads are common in rural areas and often connect two paved roads as short cuts. She has lived her whole life in Raleigh so dirt roads are new. As I turned on it and started down the dirt road she looks at me and says "If I hear banjo's..." Well, I cracked up! Her reference to Deliverance was so right on! Next she sees a couch just dumped along the road. She is amazed and goes "there is a couch! Look, there is a bed! OMG!" Coming from the south a dirt road in the country is just a free landfill where stuff gets dumped. You'd be surprised if it wasn't there. Obviously, we don't see couches on the streets of Raleigh. But maybe we should.

We had a great day. She is such fun. I think she came home and put ear plugs in just in case the banjo's started to play.

Frogs...

An old, lonely lady was walking along the street and saw a pet store. With nothing else to do and nowhere else to be she walked in. There, among the reptiles, was a frog. Rather plain, simple looking frog. Suddenly he whispered to her saying "I'm lonely too. Purchase me and take me home with you. You will not be sorry." Having done nothing on impulse for years the lady bought the frog. On the way home the frog, sitting on the front seat, looked at her and said "Kiss me. You won't be sorry." Thinking to herself "In for a dime..." she reached over, grabbed the frog and kissed him.

Immediately the frog was transformed into a gorgeous, hunky prince. The prince leaned over and kissed the woman on the lips. Immediately she felt a transformation taking place. Then immediately turned into......

Can you guess?

She turned into the Holiday Inn. She's old, not dead.

Beach trip and me...

Laura went to the beach with her girlfriends Saturday. They left first thing in the morning and got home about 11:30 pm. She had a blast. She borrowed a couple of our folding chairs and our folding cabana (one of those pop-ups that is made for the beach. They had the obligatory coolers and just sat on the beach and "basked in the glow of utter civility." They had a late dinner at Dockside (she said the food was OK but the service was awful) and then came home.

She is 24 and this is no big deal. Right? For a Dad it is a big deal. I worry. It is what we do and I am very good at it. I wanted to call her soooo bad but never did. I figured she needs to do her thing and I'm dealing with it. It is not fun but I am dealing with it. I tell myself she will call me if she needs me and if she needs me and can't call then I could not get her anyway and there is likely nothing I can do. That last part is the part I struggle with.

Dad's are supposed to fix things. We make things better and solve life's problems. She's solving her own problems now and that hurts a little. Oh, she throws me the pity "problem" once in a while. Like she needs her hose holder moved to a new wall. That is so easy it is a nothing. But for some reason I can't get myself to go do it. I've thought about it and I think the problem is I know it'll be a simple thing and that means she's really growing up.

I've done all I can to prepare her for growing up and she is doing awesome. She is a confident, happy young woman and is very happy on her own. I just miss the little girl that came to me with all sorts of problems and said "fick it daddy" and expected me to fix everything. I'm proud she does not need that any more. What is surprising is that I still need that!

OK, time to go move the hose holder. If I can bring myself to do it.

As I get older...

I am getting old. No way around it but I don't mind. I remember what my Dad said: "I like getting old. Look at the alternative." I think that is healthy. I try to look at the advantages, too. Now, don't get me wrong. There are some things you have to get used to. For example, the joints don't cooperate quite like the did when I was 20. The back is a little more finicky and the eyes and ears are not as sharp as they used to be.

What I do like is the wisdon that comes with age. The knowledge that not everything is critical. Not everything matters like the end of the world. You've been there, done that and usually have the t-shirt if not the scars to prove it.

I find teaching easier, too. I value passing on ideas and sharing that wisdom more. I don't always expect my progeny to do exactly what I try and teach them the first time they hear it. I hope I am planting a seed that will grow and blossom when needed later and will be something that bears fruit for their kids or nieces/nephews and grand kids.

We were working Walnut Creek last night to raise money for band fees. It is fun to work with the other parents and kids. We always have a good time. Last night was kind of slow so we had more time to socialize. AJ, my youngest who is in the band, was working the food. It was fun to teach him the routines we've already learned. His sister took him around, showed him where things were and "showed him the ropes". I love seeing that. AJ, in his quiet way just watched and listened then did it just like he was shown. No big deal. Brittany was at a window last night for the first time. She was a little skittish about selling beer and all the checks we have to do to the license but in no time she was an expert and having some fun. One guy came to her window 8 times! Another gave her a $3 tip because she was nice.

There was leftover pizza last night. AJ found out he could take some home so he loaded himself up with 10 single serve boxes! He loves pizza. There was an empty box on the counter this morning from his "breakfast". Go figure. Me? I just grabbed a sub that was left and split it with Brittany. He was excited and liked the "perk" of working there. During a break his sister took him with her and showed him where to get a hot dog and coke. Those two were something. I like seeing this as I get older.

Just when you need it...

I'm not sure if you think or believe there is a God or not. You might think it is all a big coincidence. Maybe you are still looking for answers but don't even know you have a question. Or, maybe you've figured it all out and are sure of what you know. I think each of us comes to our own conclusions. As for me and mine, we believe. But this is not about believing in God and it is not about convincing you of anything. Nope, it is about something that happened to me this morning.

A dear cousin of mine suddenly popped up following me on Twitter two days ago and then we linked up on Facebook. We traded a couple of emails and today I got one with pictures of her family which I adore. She is 12 years younger than me and has almost always lived far away from the rest of the family. Many years ago, when I was in college or just out, she and her family came for a visit. She was staying with my Mom and Dad. I was home for a the summer and we just bonded and talked a lot. Family has always been important to me and here was family I didn't get to see often so it was fun to connect. Her mother and father were always some of my favorite and I still feel the same.

Today, she told me that her visit had a big impact on her life. She thought I was a cool college guy and she wanted to be like me and go to college. No one from our family had gone to college at that point and I was the first college person she knew. She liked that and it encouraged her to do the same. She wrote "I wanted to be like you".

Is that a great thing to say to someone or what. What an uplift I get from that. But better than that, is her faith. I've watched her grow over the years and I've always been so impressed by her faith in God. I need to tell her that she has been a huge model for me and I want to be like her, to have that active faith. I'm sure God brought her into my life not for me to impact her, but for her to impact me. He's allowed her to do it again today.

People ask me how I can stay so positive while being out of work. Work is not the end of the rainbow, it is something we do. I love to work and I am still working. I read the blogs, news, etc. for the Pharmaceutical industry. I keep up with supply chain happenings. I'm just not getting paid for it right now. :) I'm also searching for what I want and where I'm supposed to be. If I was willing to move out west, the northeast or Canada I would have had a job long ago. Right now my family does not want to move so I'm looking here. I've known from the beginning that God has a plan. He has not let me in on it yet, but he is there, working it out. I just need to be patient and listen. I am trying to do my part. Today he reminded me that he is still there. I know that is why he sent my cousin and why her note has so uplifted me. Thanks 'cuz! You were there just when I needed it!

Cooking...

Brittany is cooking dinner tonight. I love it when she cooks. She never does things like anyone else and you never know what she is going to fix. Tonight: Chicken Spaghetti. I can not wait! I've never had it and I know I'll love it.

She is like Laura and AJ. When they cook they cook for what they like. Oh, they care about what others might think but they know they have to cook what they like or no one will like it. They are all imaginative in their own ways. Laura tends to cook new things and do them a little different. A different cheese, a different spice, etc. Brittany tends to cook traditional dishes but her way. Like tonight, chicken spaghetti. We usually eat it with hamburger or Italian sausage. Not Brittany! Nope, she has to do chicken. AJ, he picks a dish and then refines it slowly, changing little things as he cooks it each time. He likes to get them right before moving on. He came up with the idea to put Texas Pete in the recipe for bean dip and wow was it good!

I like this about my kids. I like that they experiment to bend the world to them. I think we should all do this. Don't accept things just because they've always been that way. See what we like, keep that, throw away the parts that no longer fit and add new ones that fit/work better.

I just hope my wife doesn't take that principle to spouses, too!

Changing my mind...

My son is almost someone I don't know. Every time I look at him I am amazed at how he has grown and how he is maturing. He is 16 now and I swear it was a week ago he was running around in his osh kosh b'gosh overalls grabbing my leg. My daughters are the same way. I still find it hard to imagine that one has her own place! The other went to the beach with her friends and NO parents!

Kids change. We all know that. What I find amazing is how they never stop changing but even more how they never stop changing us, if we let them. If we let them.

I think as we get older we get more set in our ways, less open to change and new ideas. "I know what I like" seems to be a mantra and I suspect it comes from having "been around the track a few times" making us think we've seen it all and thus know it all. This dulls us to the world and some of its changes.

Kids, they experience something new almost everyday. They are used to it and thrive on it. Change and new experiences are all they've ever known. They've not been lulled to sleep by the same routine and process each day. They spend time with friends, who spend time with other friends, etc. This makes access to new information happen exponentially to them. Add to that the web, Xbox, cell phones, mobile web, Facebook, etc. and they know things before they happen. I think we have to adapt to their world so we don't lose touch of them and the world, too.

I am on Facebook each day. I did it to keep tabs on my kids and to see who they're on-line friends were. Then I started getting "friend requests" from people I know my age that I work with, used to work with, met through work. This was great. I can keep up with folks easier and we can remain close. Then neighbors linked up and then old school friends, some whom I have not seen in 30+ years!

I like this and I like how it shrinks the world a little bit and makes us closer. I also like how it makes me think about a lot of things. I like connecting with people I don't see or have not seen in a while.

My kids keep me on my toes, constantly making me think, innovate and change how I see the world. That is good for me and it keeps me in touch with them.

Thanks kids. Keep making me grow. Don't ever change.

Great 4th...

We had a great 4th! Brittany had me up early with a list to finish before Sunday. We want the house clean when Diann and AJ get back today (5th) so Brittany made the lists for the two of us. We did our work, got showers and headed out. Dao joined us and we picked up Laura and hit Ace Hardware (I needed a small chain for the lifter in the toilet) and we then hit "the teetah" for some dinner items.

Once we got home I hit the kitchen running. First, I fixed my "grill potatoes" that we all love. I sliced up a bunch of potatoes in the food processor (so fast, easy and perfect slices), sliced onion, mixed them together with butter, salt, pepper, and Parmesan cheese. Wrapped it in foil and Dao put them on the grill.

Next were the loin chops. I was going to cook the whole loin but it was getting late so I cut it up into thick chops and then rubbed them with a combination of Emeril's Essence, brown sugar, onion powder and garlic powder. Dao and Brittany put those on the grill on indirect heat.

Then, I took corn on the cob from the freezer (my mother-in-laws) and put butter on it and wrapped them in foil. They went on the grill next to the potatoes.

35 minutes later...VOILA! Dinner! It was too good to imagine. We feasted large! For desert, Laura fixed a cake decorated with fruit like the flag. It was a great dinner. We sat, ate, talked, laughed and had a blast.

We then watched Grudge 3 (not a fan but the kids wanted to watch it). And to top it all off, we decided about 10pm we needed munchies and had waffles and bacon!

I then hit the rack with Maddie. She started shaking from the fireworks so I had to hold her and give her a pill. She gets so scared of noises. But, she is my pup and I would not trade her for anything.

The girls and Dao all told me how much they enjoyed the day and evening. They thought it was one of the best 4th's ever. It really is never about where you are, it is about who you are with. Janis Joplin did have it right in her song...

Convalescing Week...

Been a week of convalescing for the family. Laura has a very nasty ear infection and is on 3 meds for it. She is 24 but I am going to have to put my foot down and get her to an ENT to see if she needs tubes or something. A Dad's gotta do what a Dad's gotta do.

AJ had his toe operated on, sort of this week. He has a severe ingrown toe nail that got infected so he was antibiotics for the week and yesterday the doctor in Banner Elk cut it open to get cleaned out. He was so bothered by it he was looking forward to having it cut. In typical AJ fashion he just put in headphones and watched a movie on his ipod while the doctor did his thing. He is ruling the house now. He has the laptop, phone, TV, etc. set up in the bedroom. His Nana gave him a bell to ring so he doesn't have to get up for anything. Coming home is going to be rough on him! :)

Brittany continues to get over bug bites from the beach trip. Her poor legs are covered and look awful. She is coping and working hard to avoid scratching them. Not sure I could do that. She is using anti-itch cream a lot but it only does just so much. I think she's had her fill of camping. ;)

Diann seems to be the only one not sick, at least as far as I know.

Me? I had a stomach thing for a day. But I am over that and rocking. The girls and I plan to cook out tonight and then go watch some fireworks. I am thinking thick cut loin chops but I might just inject the loin and put a rub on the outside and cook it over indirect heat. I'd like to try that and it is easier than the chops. Normally when we see the loins on sale we buy them and cut them up into chops and freeze the chops or leave a portion whole for a roast. Somehow this whole loin got put in the freezer so I'm going to cook the whole thing. AJ comes home tomorrow so it is not going to go to waste.

I hope where ever you are and whatever you are doing you take some time to realize how lucky we all are. America is truly the greatest place in the world. Our form of government is not perfect but it is better than any other form in the world.

Diann and AJ, if you read this, come home safe and have a good 4th of July!

What freedom means...

Ages ago Janis Joplin wrote a song called "Me and Bobby McGee" with lyrics that include "freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" and I always think of those lyrics when anyone mentions FREEDOM. Freedom is not free, it costs dearly and we've paid the price for it many times and our soldiers are paying that price even today. When Colin Powell was Secretary of State he was asked about diplomacy versus military action. His reply is telling. He said that in the last 100 years Americans have left their shores many times to fight for freedom and all we've ever asked is land to bury our dead.

We are a country that knows freedom and in many ways we invented it. We hold it dear and not just for ourselves. We want others to shape their own destiny and build their own lives. Freedom is never free.

My wife and son have been gone for a month. I miss them terribly. Someone asked me how I was enjoying the "freedom". I said "Fine" but I was not enjoying it at all. Yeah, I had no one to answer to but then they were not here to share my joys, sorrows and to laugh or cry with me. Being free to do what you want just means you don't have anyone to share it with. Giving up that "freedom" for my family was the best deal I've ever made.

I have enjoyed the time with my daughters. We've had many dinners together, laughed and taken care of each other. I can't wait for my son and wife to return so I can do the same with them! I'll be glad when my "freedom" is over!

If you see a soldier in the coming months be sure to stop, shake their hand and thank them for the service and sacrifice they make so that we can enjoy our freedom.