First Lady and shorts...

The news has been abuzz over the first lady wearing shorts. Who cares? I mean, she is on vacation with her daughters, it is 106 degrees where she is and she is wearing shorts. OK. I'd consider it new if she DID NOT wear shorts instead of wearing them!

The founding fathers did not set up a monarchy or a potentate. We have a president. Our government is OF the people, BY the people and FOR the people. I wear shorts all the time. I like a first lady that wears shorts. My real question is why didn't the president have on some shorts!? (Rumor has it he only had a short time and had to go back to work.)

Geez, we complain when they set themselves a part from us and we complain when they don't. Here is a president and first lady that are working hard, doing a good job (not that I agree with all they do but I appreciate work they are doing) and are staying in touch with their family, kids and the American people!

Get a life! This is to all you that think there is a problem with her wearing shorts! At least she has the legs for it! You should be much more concerned about me wearing shorts because I DON'T have the legs for it. Talk about a blight on the image of America, my legs fall into that category!

Today...

Brittany started school today. I've always sent my kids flowers on their first day of school. Being out of work put a crimp in that but my wife suggested I get her a bouquet and take them to her. As it turned out she dropped by the house to pick up some things so we took a ride. We dropped by the Fresh Market and while I was not thrilled about the selection she went straight to a bouquet of purple carnations. She loves carnations and these lit her face up.

She came home, put them in a vase and now has them at school. She has written me two notes about them and how they make a huge difference in her apartment at school.

She's reminded me today that the price or cost of something is not the thing. It is that I remembered them and kept that tradition alive that is a reminder of how much I love her and how proud I am of her.

Picked my son up after band practice and we rolled into home about 8:40. Neither of us had had dinner so we whipped up some burritos quickly. Some hamburger, taco seasoning, refried beans, shredded lettuce from the cuisinart (love that machine!), sour cream and some salsa (all of this was in the house...no trip to the store) and we were set. We supped large!

Today was a good day. Tomorrow I'll find out how the interview went today. I'm hopeful but we'll see. God has a plan and a reason. I'm along for the ride! I'm just thankful for all I do have.

Thoughts and rambles...

No more blog posts at 2:00 a.m. That is a "note to self". Got rambling which is normal when your mind is bleary from LOS (lack of sleep).

I think it is time for a family dinner. We do them at Thanksgiving and Christmas but I am thinking it has been too long since the last one and too long before the next one. I need to pull something together. Nothing fancy, just a big spaghetti dinner. Sauce from scratch with a bag or two of the frozen meatballs (yes, I use them. They are very good and so fast to fix!) Get the family to bring salad and bread and desert and we can all sup large together.

I wonder how many will come given that it is not a holiday? Do holidays matter? Do we feel obligated to go to family functions on those days or do we like doing that? Would we rather be with "our" friends except they are with "their" families? Interesting thought. Me? I like the family time. But, then again, we open it up to an extended family that includes many that are not even related but we like them so much they seem related. I like that. We'll include them, too. Hmmm....this is starting to sound fun!

My wife is now hooked on FB so bad it is not funny! She is not just doing FB but is also doing Farmville (see previous post that went on forever), Sorority Life, Yoville and who knows what else. Seriously, it keeps her off the streets but I am thinking serious intervention here! Darn aliens!

Our neighbor brought us a watermelon. What a wonderfully nice thing to have happen. She is my "favorite" neighbor. I put that in quotes because it is how she describes herself when she calls. "Hello Al, this is your favorite neighbor." She is very nice and her kids are around here a lot playing xbox with my son. Except for the NC State clothes they are good kids. Not as good as mine but then no one's are.

Brittany had 16 glasses, a bowl, a fork, two spoons and a pair of chopsticks in her room. She is like that. It just builds and then it hits her and she brings it all down. We were drinking out of jars but who notices? We just thought we were getting short on glasses because they had gotten broken. With all of us doing dishes no one keeps up. She is so funny. She openly admitted it and we all got a good laugh at it. I had cereal last night (one of my vices for late night) and went in her room, handed her the bowl and spoon and said "Here is a starter piece for your next collection." She and I got very tickled over that. Hmmm...that reminds me. Did I leave it in there or take it downstairs...

Gonna be hotter than blazes today and tomorrow. Hunker down time. Watch the pets carefully! If you are out and about drink water before you go out and when you come back. Me? I'm just gonna stay inside.

The glue that binds...

Families are in many ways an accident of nature. We don't get to choose our family members, except our spouses and even then I'm not sure we know them as well as we think we do. We certainly don't choose spouses based on the spouse-to-be's family (well, not many of us).

So, what is this thing we call a family? What defines it, what makes some work well and others dysfunctional? What ties us together besides birth or name or living under the same roof?

Getting too "deep" for you? Why ask this question? Just figure it out as you go along and don't worry about it?

I think about my family all the time. I don't take anything for granted and I don't do anything without a reason. My family is my focus and I know that what we do, what we share, what we focus on and what we make important shapes, molds and builds the family unit we have. Leaving things to chance is not good. (Just in case you are wondering, I don't use the terms "in my opinion" since this is my blog it is already my opinion.) To get the family you want you have to constantly plan, focus and make sure you are doing the things to get what you want our of it.

I am convinced that the glue that binds a family, more than anything else, are the shared memories, the inside jokes, the "family secrets" and the shared experiences. These are more than memories, they should be bonds of trust, things that you can lean on in later times. These are the foundation on which each member will build on later in life.

My kids know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'll be there for them. That gives them all the confidence in the world to go forth and make things happen. I was there on those many Saturday's and Sunday's for soccer, band, baseball, birthdays, parties and sicknesses. I've rocked them for 48 hours straight when they had chicken pox.

This builds a bond, a closeness and trust that lasts a lifetime. You can not get this cheap, you can not get this easy. It is not a once in a while thing. It has to be an all the while thing.

Being there for what is important to them is critical. As they grow, the absolute little things are the biggest things to them. Seeing you there signifies love, acceptance and affirmation.

Much is talked about child rearing. I've learned that watching a child grow up, changing diapers, taking them to the doctor on weekends as well as during the week, watching them eat those first cheerios all make for a better, stronger relationship. You get to know this person, who they are, who their friends are, the types of choices they make AND you are a person that is there when they need guidance, a shoulder, a reminder. If you come in out of the blue or out of the cold and administer advice or punishment they don't know you, don't know your love, your caring and that you have their best interest in mind.

Where does this whole thing come from? Well, I am convinced that Farmville on Facebook is an evil plot to take over our minds by aliens. It is addicting! I kicked the habit and got that monkey off my back months ago. Thank you! Now my family is into it! All of them! Even my wife! And today my middle child, the last bastion of hope went over to the dark side and has joined the ranks of those on Farmville! I swear I can see things crawl under her skin to her head and are taking her over! Woe is me!

Alas, I too have slipped silently, quickly and decidedly back into the abyss of Farmville. They are all enjoying it and how can I bind us together if now with the glue of Farmville? It was either that or take away all the PC's!

Heinous...

The web is a wonderful and awful thing. It brings us closer than ever yet can reveal things we'd rather not see. Today was one of those days for me.

Now, we all know the web took off mostly because of pornography. Much like how the porn industry decided that VHS instead of Betamax would be the choice for video taping. No news here. We all know that no URL is safe because we have either typed in or heard stories of people typing whitehouse.com (thankfully that is no longer the case) and gotten a porn site (even before the Clinton era).

Today I was just snooping around about the Godley name. Nothing new there. Most of us have googled ourselves and family to see what pops up. I've been having fun with images for GODLEY on Facebook and decided to hunt for a new one. Godley brings back a lot of results. It seems that Godley in New Zealand is pretty popular. Likewise in England. There is a Godley, Tx that is a small town outside the Dallas metro area. (Note to self, move there and have a town named after you!) Today I found that in NJ there were Godley's. They also owned slaves. One of them was William Godley, Jr. Not sure of the middle name but we have the same first, last and suffixes!

That kind of rocked me. To see my name attached to a list of slave owners from the early 1800's. Something I consider so heinous, so vile and so repulsive attached to my name. Even worse, there is a photo of a letter signed by this person who documents the birth of a female by his slave! He used the word slave in the letter!

I have no idea if we are related and I'm not sure I want to know.

I know this was a different time and a different place in our history but there are some things I think are universally wrong at any time and slavery is one of them. No amount of justification, attitude, explaining or view of history can ever justify this.

I've always been proud of the name Godley. The coat-of-arms is pretty cool (see photo) and the motto is "without God, nothing" which I really like. I'm not proud at all of this association with the name.

29 years and counting...

Yesterday was our anniversary! 29 years and counting. We didn't do anything special, so much going on with the family and I was exhausted from working the concert the night before. So we hung out with the family, which was great. She did some shopping with our daughter for college stuff (need things in the apartment) and then we all went over to help get the stuff in and see the apartment. We all ate together here at home. We had a fix your own sub dinner. Sort of a free for all. My daughter's boyfriend was here as well as my nephew (he is visiting for a few days) so it was fun to hang out around the table, tell stories and laugh.

I had a great day. I think that is one of the wonderful things about being married so long. You get comfortable with people and can enjoy the simple things. You don't have to prove anything, you trust those you love. Once things settle a little we are going out for dinner, just the two of us.

Oh, I got new Pyrex dishes for a present! I am so excited. Been wanting a set since I saw my mother-in-law's dish. Oven safe and with lids! Very handy for how I cook. Now I have to use them to fix dinner. Wonder what I'll fix.

Saddest Day of the Year...

Today is move in day for my college girl. She is moving into an on campus apartment at Meredith. I hate this day. I'm so proud of her and glad she is independent but I already miss her so much. This is her Junior year and it does not get any better.

Next year will be worse. She plans to do an internship in Japan during the summer, come home for a few weeks then go back and study there for the semester. I have no idea how I will deal with that! I am NOT looking forward to that at all. But, I need to get through this first. One heart break at a time.

She is heading over to pick up keys and drop a few boxes now. Then she comes back, we get the truck and load up the big stuff...fridge, TVs, etc. I'm not sure why she needs a fridge since it is an apartment and she has a big one there already but she has it from the dorm so she might as well use it.

I'm struggling like I always do to get through this. I will never get used to these days.

Give and take...

I hate canned ham. OK, maybe hate is too strong a word. I eat it and I like the taste of it but I'd never fix if for myself. I'm not sure why. I love ham, especially when I cook them myself or if it is "real" ham. I love ham for sandwiches and we all know that is pretty much sliced canned ham. There is just something about canned ham that does not appeal to me.

My family likes it. My wife thinks it is a neat treat. So, I cook it, er uh actually "prepare" it is a better word since it is already cooked. I've tried spices in the oven, slices in a frying pan, pineapple and cloves in the oven but it is still not a big hit with me.

Today was canned ham day. I try to avoid them but here it was. I got home late and was kinda hoping it would be sandwich night...but nope. It was there, waiting for me, mocking me, making fun of me, daring me to "man up" and fix (yes, fix ... look at the definitions!) it for dinner.

Today, I decided to try something new. I cut it in slices while the ham was on its side. Each slice is the shape of the can. You know, sort of oval-ish. Not too thin, but nice and sorta thick. Then off to the grill. Yes, the grill. I was going to go all out and try and tackle this demon and get this monkey off my back.

It was the best canned ham I've had. But it was still canned ham. We had corn from the freezer (thank you Dorothy for putting this corn up last year) and frozen green beans (they were the bag kind you nuke for 5 minutes). I love frozen veggies. They are always fresher tasting. But it was still canned ham.

I ate my slice, enjoyed the corn and beans and washed it down with my favorite Laura drink. Pineapple juice and pineapple rum over ice. It helped but it was still canned ham.

All is not lost. I can dice up the leftover canned ham tomorrow morning and have a great omelet. Nothing like ham in an omelet with fresh hash browns! Thank God for the canned ham. I am so looking forward to breakfast now!

Words of wisdon...

I was talking about how my daughter talks with images. Instead of saying something seems scary or "too country" like a dirt road she says "I hear banjos playing". I think of "words of wisdom" much the same way.

Things like "living a country song moment" are important. What is this? I blogged about this ages ago but essentially it is doing something you could write a country song about. Mine is "I danced with a pregnant woman in the Waffle House and she wasn't my wife". Now this was not anything like it seemed and my wife was there when it happened and we were with friends who were pregnant. The act of the dancing is not important. What is important is recognizing and naming those events in like. They cement the memory. Memories are the fabric of our lives.

Memories are who and what we are. They are what we've done but also set the pattern for what we will do. I think it is important to build memories for yourself and your family. It is what they will hold onto and build with.

When I read things I do so in much the same way. I try to look at things a little differently. Today, Barry Saunders, columnist for the News and Observer here in Raleigh was talking about Random Acts of Kindness and paying it forward. Remember the movie with the little boy? Well he has some wisdom today that is important in life: "I don't think leaving an extra large tip for Bubblicious at Brothers III strip club at Christmas qualifies as paying it forward".

You gotta love this! This puts an image to the article. I found it very funny. That is wisdom to live by. I think me and my buddies leaving her extra large tips might be "paying it forward". When I asked my wife about this she just looked at me. I said, "yeah, if it is not kindness for Barry it probably is not for us." Amazing how her look had so many Words of Wisdom!

Banjo's are playing...

Kids are so funny. My daughter speaks in images and does it all the time, naturally. I love it. She spent the day with me the yesterday. I'm working with a friend in his fencing business and it is very interesting. She tagged along to see what I was doing and to hang with her Dad. she measured while I drew the diagram and made notes.

We were in Johnston county and driving to the appt. along a country road when she turns to me with a concerned look and said..."Dad, I'm not going to have to measure a whole farm am I?" I said no and explained it was a fence for a large yard. She was OK with that. After the appt. we headed to the next and the directions took us down a dirt road that was not in good repair at all. Being from the eastern part of the state I know well that dirt roads are common in rural areas and often connect two paved roads as short cuts. She has lived her whole life in Raleigh so dirt roads are new. As I turned on it and started down the dirt road she looks at me and says "If I hear banjo's..." Well, I cracked up! Her reference to Deliverance was so right on! Next she sees a couch just dumped along the road. She is amazed and goes "there is a couch! Look, there is a bed! OMG!" Coming from the south a dirt road in the country is just a free landfill where stuff gets dumped. You'd be surprised if it wasn't there. Obviously, we don't see couches on the streets of Raleigh. But maybe we should.

We had a great day. She is such fun. I think she came home and put ear plugs in just in case the banjo's started to play.

Frogs...

An old, lonely lady was walking along the street and saw a pet store. With nothing else to do and nowhere else to be she walked in. There, among the reptiles, was a frog. Rather plain, simple looking frog. Suddenly he whispered to her saying "I'm lonely too. Purchase me and take me home with you. You will not be sorry." Having done nothing on impulse for years the lady bought the frog. On the way home the frog, sitting on the front seat, looked at her and said "Kiss me. You won't be sorry." Thinking to herself "In for a dime..." she reached over, grabbed the frog and kissed him.

Immediately the frog was transformed into a gorgeous, hunky prince. The prince leaned over and kissed the woman on the lips. Immediately she felt a transformation taking place. Then immediately turned into......

Can you guess?

She turned into the Holiday Inn. She's old, not dead.

Beach trip and me...

Laura went to the beach with her girlfriends Saturday. They left first thing in the morning and got home about 11:30 pm. She had a blast. She borrowed a couple of our folding chairs and our folding cabana (one of those pop-ups that is made for the beach. They had the obligatory coolers and just sat on the beach and "basked in the glow of utter civility." They had a late dinner at Dockside (she said the food was OK but the service was awful) and then came home.

She is 24 and this is no big deal. Right? For a Dad it is a big deal. I worry. It is what we do and I am very good at it. I wanted to call her soooo bad but never did. I figured she needs to do her thing and I'm dealing with it. It is not fun but I am dealing with it. I tell myself she will call me if she needs me and if she needs me and can't call then I could not get her anyway and there is likely nothing I can do. That last part is the part I struggle with.

Dad's are supposed to fix things. We make things better and solve life's problems. She's solving her own problems now and that hurts a little. Oh, she throws me the pity "problem" once in a while. Like she needs her hose holder moved to a new wall. That is so easy it is a nothing. But for some reason I can't get myself to go do it. I've thought about it and I think the problem is I know it'll be a simple thing and that means she's really growing up.

I've done all I can to prepare her for growing up and she is doing awesome. She is a confident, happy young woman and is very happy on her own. I just miss the little girl that came to me with all sorts of problems and said "fick it daddy" and expected me to fix everything. I'm proud she does not need that any more. What is surprising is that I still need that!

OK, time to go move the hose holder. If I can bring myself to do it.

As I get older...

I am getting old. No way around it but I don't mind. I remember what my Dad said: "I like getting old. Look at the alternative." I think that is healthy. I try to look at the advantages, too. Now, don't get me wrong. There are some things you have to get used to. For example, the joints don't cooperate quite like the did when I was 20. The back is a little more finicky and the eyes and ears are not as sharp as they used to be.

What I do like is the wisdon that comes with age. The knowledge that not everything is critical. Not everything matters like the end of the world. You've been there, done that and usually have the t-shirt if not the scars to prove it.

I find teaching easier, too. I value passing on ideas and sharing that wisdom more. I don't always expect my progeny to do exactly what I try and teach them the first time they hear it. I hope I am planting a seed that will grow and blossom when needed later and will be something that bears fruit for their kids or nieces/nephews and grand kids.

We were working Walnut Creek last night to raise money for band fees. It is fun to work with the other parents and kids. We always have a good time. Last night was kind of slow so we had more time to socialize. AJ, my youngest who is in the band, was working the food. It was fun to teach him the routines we've already learned. His sister took him around, showed him where things were and "showed him the ropes". I love seeing that. AJ, in his quiet way just watched and listened then did it just like he was shown. No big deal. Brittany was at a window last night for the first time. She was a little skittish about selling beer and all the checks we have to do to the license but in no time she was an expert and having some fun. One guy came to her window 8 times! Another gave her a $3 tip because she was nice.

There was leftover pizza last night. AJ found out he could take some home so he loaded himself up with 10 single serve boxes! He loves pizza. There was an empty box on the counter this morning from his "breakfast". Go figure. Me? I just grabbed a sub that was left and split it with Brittany. He was excited and liked the "perk" of working there. During a break his sister took him with her and showed him where to get a hot dog and coke. Those two were something. I like seeing this as I get older.

Just when you need it...

I'm not sure if you think or believe there is a God or not. You might think it is all a big coincidence. Maybe you are still looking for answers but don't even know you have a question. Or, maybe you've figured it all out and are sure of what you know. I think each of us comes to our own conclusions. As for me and mine, we believe. But this is not about believing in God and it is not about convincing you of anything. Nope, it is about something that happened to me this morning.

A dear cousin of mine suddenly popped up following me on Twitter two days ago and then we linked up on Facebook. We traded a couple of emails and today I got one with pictures of her family which I adore. She is 12 years younger than me and has almost always lived far away from the rest of the family. Many years ago, when I was in college or just out, she and her family came for a visit. She was staying with my Mom and Dad. I was home for a the summer and we just bonded and talked a lot. Family has always been important to me and here was family I didn't get to see often so it was fun to connect. Her mother and father were always some of my favorite and I still feel the same.

Today, she told me that her visit had a big impact on her life. She thought I was a cool college guy and she wanted to be like me and go to college. No one from our family had gone to college at that point and I was the first college person she knew. She liked that and it encouraged her to do the same. She wrote "I wanted to be like you".

Is that a great thing to say to someone or what. What an uplift I get from that. But better than that, is her faith. I've watched her grow over the years and I've always been so impressed by her faith in God. I need to tell her that she has been a huge model for me and I want to be like her, to have that active faith. I'm sure God brought her into my life not for me to impact her, but for her to impact me. He's allowed her to do it again today.

People ask me how I can stay so positive while being out of work. Work is not the end of the rainbow, it is something we do. I love to work and I am still working. I read the blogs, news, etc. for the Pharmaceutical industry. I keep up with supply chain happenings. I'm just not getting paid for it right now. :) I'm also searching for what I want and where I'm supposed to be. If I was willing to move out west, the northeast or Canada I would have had a job long ago. Right now my family does not want to move so I'm looking here. I've known from the beginning that God has a plan. He has not let me in on it yet, but he is there, working it out. I just need to be patient and listen. I am trying to do my part. Today he reminded me that he is still there. I know that is why he sent my cousin and why her note has so uplifted me. Thanks 'cuz! You were there just when I needed it!

Cooking...

Brittany is cooking dinner tonight. I love it when she cooks. She never does things like anyone else and you never know what she is going to fix. Tonight: Chicken Spaghetti. I can not wait! I've never had it and I know I'll love it.

She is like Laura and AJ. When they cook they cook for what they like. Oh, they care about what others might think but they know they have to cook what they like or no one will like it. They are all imaginative in their own ways. Laura tends to cook new things and do them a little different. A different cheese, a different spice, etc. Brittany tends to cook traditional dishes but her way. Like tonight, chicken spaghetti. We usually eat it with hamburger or Italian sausage. Not Brittany! Nope, she has to do chicken. AJ, he picks a dish and then refines it slowly, changing little things as he cooks it each time. He likes to get them right before moving on. He came up with the idea to put Texas Pete in the recipe for bean dip and wow was it good!

I like this about my kids. I like that they experiment to bend the world to them. I think we should all do this. Don't accept things just because they've always been that way. See what we like, keep that, throw away the parts that no longer fit and add new ones that fit/work better.

I just hope my wife doesn't take that principle to spouses, too!

Changing my mind...

My son is almost someone I don't know. Every time I look at him I am amazed at how he has grown and how he is maturing. He is 16 now and I swear it was a week ago he was running around in his osh kosh b'gosh overalls grabbing my leg. My daughters are the same way. I still find it hard to imagine that one has her own place! The other went to the beach with her friends and NO parents!

Kids change. We all know that. What I find amazing is how they never stop changing but even more how they never stop changing us, if we let them. If we let them.

I think as we get older we get more set in our ways, less open to change and new ideas. "I know what I like" seems to be a mantra and I suspect it comes from having "been around the track a few times" making us think we've seen it all and thus know it all. This dulls us to the world and some of its changes.

Kids, they experience something new almost everyday. They are used to it and thrive on it. Change and new experiences are all they've ever known. They've not been lulled to sleep by the same routine and process each day. They spend time with friends, who spend time with other friends, etc. This makes access to new information happen exponentially to them. Add to that the web, Xbox, cell phones, mobile web, Facebook, etc. and they know things before they happen. I think we have to adapt to their world so we don't lose touch of them and the world, too.

I am on Facebook each day. I did it to keep tabs on my kids and to see who they're on-line friends were. Then I started getting "friend requests" from people I know my age that I work with, used to work with, met through work. This was great. I can keep up with folks easier and we can remain close. Then neighbors linked up and then old school friends, some whom I have not seen in 30+ years!

I like this and I like how it shrinks the world a little bit and makes us closer. I also like how it makes me think about a lot of things. I like connecting with people I don't see or have not seen in a while.

My kids keep me on my toes, constantly making me think, innovate and change how I see the world. That is good for me and it keeps me in touch with them.

Thanks kids. Keep making me grow. Don't ever change.

Great 4th...

We had a great 4th! Brittany had me up early with a list to finish before Sunday. We want the house clean when Diann and AJ get back today (5th) so Brittany made the lists for the two of us. We did our work, got showers and headed out. Dao joined us and we picked up Laura and hit Ace Hardware (I needed a small chain for the lifter in the toilet) and we then hit "the teetah" for some dinner items.

Once we got home I hit the kitchen running. First, I fixed my "grill potatoes" that we all love. I sliced up a bunch of potatoes in the food processor (so fast, easy and perfect slices), sliced onion, mixed them together with butter, salt, pepper, and Parmesan cheese. Wrapped it in foil and Dao put them on the grill.

Next were the loin chops. I was going to cook the whole loin but it was getting late so I cut it up into thick chops and then rubbed them with a combination of Emeril's Essence, brown sugar, onion powder and garlic powder. Dao and Brittany put those on the grill on indirect heat.

Then, I took corn on the cob from the freezer (my mother-in-laws) and put butter on it and wrapped them in foil. They went on the grill next to the potatoes.

35 minutes later...VOILA! Dinner! It was too good to imagine. We feasted large! For desert, Laura fixed a cake decorated with fruit like the flag. It was a great dinner. We sat, ate, talked, laughed and had a blast.

We then watched Grudge 3 (not a fan but the kids wanted to watch it). And to top it all off, we decided about 10pm we needed munchies and had waffles and bacon!

I then hit the rack with Maddie. She started shaking from the fireworks so I had to hold her and give her a pill. She gets so scared of noises. But, she is my pup and I would not trade her for anything.

The girls and Dao all told me how much they enjoyed the day and evening. They thought it was one of the best 4th's ever. It really is never about where you are, it is about who you are with. Janis Joplin did have it right in her song...

Convalescing Week...

Been a week of convalescing for the family. Laura has a very nasty ear infection and is on 3 meds for it. She is 24 but I am going to have to put my foot down and get her to an ENT to see if she needs tubes or something. A Dad's gotta do what a Dad's gotta do.

AJ had his toe operated on, sort of this week. He has a severe ingrown toe nail that got infected so he was antibiotics for the week and yesterday the doctor in Banner Elk cut it open to get cleaned out. He was so bothered by it he was looking forward to having it cut. In typical AJ fashion he just put in headphones and watched a movie on his ipod while the doctor did his thing. He is ruling the house now. He has the laptop, phone, TV, etc. set up in the bedroom. His Nana gave him a bell to ring so he doesn't have to get up for anything. Coming home is going to be rough on him! :)

Brittany continues to get over bug bites from the beach trip. Her poor legs are covered and look awful. She is coping and working hard to avoid scratching them. Not sure I could do that. She is using anti-itch cream a lot but it only does just so much. I think she's had her fill of camping. ;)

Diann seems to be the only one not sick, at least as far as I know.

Me? I had a stomach thing for a day. But I am over that and rocking. The girls and I plan to cook out tonight and then go watch some fireworks. I am thinking thick cut loin chops but I might just inject the loin and put a rub on the outside and cook it over indirect heat. I'd like to try that and it is easier than the chops. Normally when we see the loins on sale we buy them and cut them up into chops and freeze the chops or leave a portion whole for a roast. Somehow this whole loin got put in the freezer so I'm going to cook the whole thing. AJ comes home tomorrow so it is not going to go to waste.

I hope where ever you are and whatever you are doing you take some time to realize how lucky we all are. America is truly the greatest place in the world. Our form of government is not perfect but it is better than any other form in the world.

Diann and AJ, if you read this, come home safe and have a good 4th of July!

What freedom means...

Ages ago Janis Joplin wrote a song called "Me and Bobby McGee" with lyrics that include "freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" and I always think of those lyrics when anyone mentions FREEDOM. Freedom is not free, it costs dearly and we've paid the price for it many times and our soldiers are paying that price even today. When Colin Powell was Secretary of State he was asked about diplomacy versus military action. His reply is telling. He said that in the last 100 years Americans have left their shores many times to fight for freedom and all we've ever asked is land to bury our dead.

We are a country that knows freedom and in many ways we invented it. We hold it dear and not just for ourselves. We want others to shape their own destiny and build their own lives. Freedom is never free.

My wife and son have been gone for a month. I miss them terribly. Someone asked me how I was enjoying the "freedom". I said "Fine" but I was not enjoying it at all. Yeah, I had no one to answer to but then they were not here to share my joys, sorrows and to laugh or cry with me. Being free to do what you want just means you don't have anyone to share it with. Giving up that "freedom" for my family was the best deal I've ever made.

I have enjoyed the time with my daughters. We've had many dinners together, laughed and taken care of each other. I can't wait for my son and wife to return so I can do the same with them! I'll be glad when my "freedom" is over!

If you see a soldier in the coming months be sure to stop, shake their hand and thank them for the service and sacrifice they make so that we can enjoy our freedom.

In-laws...New people in our families to love

Time to talk about in-laws...This came to me because my sister-in-law called me this week just to check in. Now, she is married to my wife's brother so that makes her like a double sister -in-law since two marriages had to happen to make us related.

I like her. I'm pretty picky about people and as we all know very opinionated. But, I like her. She remembers the kids birthdays (and sends presents), calls regularly (not often but regular) and she reads my blog (that alone is reason enough to like her :) ) to keep up with the family. She has been supportive as I figure out what I want to do for work and look for work. She sends me notes on meetings, ideas, etc. She's been there, done that and got the t-shirt. I appreciate her support, calls and notes. You sometimes feel alone in the nether world of the jobless and I like the support she gives. If you ever meet her watch out for her infectious grin. Thanks B!

My brother-in-law, not the one married to the sister-in-law above but the one married to my sister is a good guy. He is not talkative but is steady, a great husband to my sister and has done yeoman duty for my niece and nephew. For a quiet guy he is funny. I've not seen him in several months and need to just get my butt over there to say hello. He is the type of guy to not call but would come if I called. I'm surprised I like him so much since we are so different but I think we revel in the differences and in the ways we are alike. When we are together we give my sister a lot of grief, which is the job of any brother. You da man, N!

My brother-in-law that is married to the sister-in-law above is a good guy. I've never spent much time with him but I like him. An avid golfer he shoots in the low 80's to 70's on a regular basis and can shoot 36 holes in one day when the temp is 95 degrees! That is not stamina but it does begin with an "S". I've known him since he was about 9 and he has grown into a good man. Smart as all day. He can't remember a birthday from spit but he married to shore up that deficiency. OOPS! Sorry B! You thought he married for love.

I think my mother and father in-law deserve a whole 'nother posting. I adore them. They really are wonderful people. They've always been there for us and they'll do anything for the kids. I've watched them to learn how to be a grandparent. More on them later. Likewise, my brother-in-law from my other sister. I need time to discuss that one.

Don't know why I wrote this. Maybe because in-laws are like appendix to a family. Part of it but no one knows what they do and if you take them out it hurts but you can live just fine. I'm not sure I feel that way. I think they ARE family and I'd not be the same without mine, not at all.

When we had a child my wife calmed my fear. I was so worried because I didn't know where the love would come from for a new family member. She explained it was new love for a child. She was right. When the second came along I again was concerned because I loved the first one so much I could not imagine sharing that love with another one. She explained there was no sharing, you just got a whole new set of love. She was so right.

God does that with in-laws, too. We need to open ourselves up to the love God gives us for these special people in our lives. If we don't we are missing something special! I am grateful for my in-laws, all of them. Thank you God for all your gifts.

Art, Clay jar or something else altogether...

Ron Philbeck is a talented potter. Click on his name for a link to his blog. He posted a simple question about what a potter should post for his wares. Wow, the last time I looked there were 42 comments! Every student of business, marketing and economics should read this! I had to pipe up with 2 posts. You know me, can't keep quiet about economics/business. By the way, visit his website and his selling site, too. You'll love his work and cherish it for a lifetime.

I read several of the blogs and have purchased pots from a couple of these potters and other potters as well. I found the comments to this blog especially interesting because they made me think, and not just about the economics of selling pots.

I have 2 jars Ron made for me. They sit on my kitchen counter and are used EVERYDAY! One contains salt and one contains pepper. We use them to cook, to season food at the table, prepping food and even when we are enjoying watermelon! (You gotta have salt on watermelon.) These are as much a part of our kitchen as the stove or the sink. I could not cook without them.

I also have a butter dish that Jen Mecca made. We love this but it stays mostly in the fridge. I don't use it for cooking, just for putting on the table. It is a little fancier but when cooking I'm measuring butter and well, it is just not a cooking item. (Sorry about the poor picture Jen!)

My family likes both of these. I like them because they serve a purpose for me AND I am supporting something and someones I think are good people. And I LIKE the pots!

Are they art or just utilitarian objects. I think both. They serve a useful function but we like them, they have meaning to use, we know the people that made them and people comment on them every time they see them! So it sounds like art but we use them regularly to fill a utilitarian need.

I guess this isn't a question that needs an answer or if so it is an answer that is different for everyone. I love the items and I like the people that made them.

Simple Pleasures...

I had a great evening! I went shopping (grocery) with my daughter Laura. She needed to pick up some salad items and I needed to take advantage of the double coupons up to $1.98 at Harris Teeter or as we call them "the teetah".

I took all my coupons of $1 or more and hit the road. We did not need a lot of things but at DOUBLE up to $1.98 I could not miss this. Between the store specials and the doubles I saved over $62! I spent $95 for $160 of groceries! Laura and I had fun going up and down the store looking, comparing and having fun. At least I did. One of my favorites was Lowry's marinade that we LOVE for chicken. It was bogo on sale and I had a $1.50 coupon! I got 2 bottles for $.28. Yes, 28 cents!

Then, while shopping we saw Sue Stock! She is the coupon queen! She works for the News and Observer (local newspaper) and has a blog and teaches classes all on how to save money and use coupons. She checked out when we did and saved $84! OMG! I was able to chat with her for a few moments. She is very nice and a pleasure to meet.

OK, that is my celebrity moment and big savings. I did a two-fer today!

Laura laughed at me all the way home! She got so tickled to see me stoked about something like this.

The simple pleasures...

We've all been there....well, most of us!

A friend from college sent this to me recently. While I've never gone this far I've sure wanted to! Take a look and see if this could have been you.

http://glumbert.com/media/baddayoffice

Kids...

Life gives us choices along the road it takes us. Those choices are often like Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken. Our choices make all the difference.

I was talking with a dear college friend of mine yesterday during her visit while returning from vacation at the beach. We were talking about choices and I told her that I'd not change a thing about my life since college. That was not a surprise to her but my daughter was there and she seemed a little surprised. My friend knows me well enough to know that I make a decision and go on. I don't live with "what ifs". You should think about your decisions in advance and look at the possibilities and determine the correct decision. Once that is made, don't look back.

Now this is not to say we don't remember history or learn from it. Far from it. I am a huge fan and disciple of history. That is part of wisdom that comes with age. What I am talking about is the "oh I wish I had" syndrome that I think we worry too much about. Living life this way just causes us to miss the present and impedes the ability to look forward to the future with anticipation instead of anxiety.

Oh sure, there are a number of things that I wish had turned out differently. We all have those. But how we deal with them, learn from then and don't dwell on them defines us as much as or more than the actual outcome of the choice made.

Ed Coleman, a friend and colleague of mine at GSK, gave me some great advice once. I was lamenting something and he looked at me and said "Al, you have a great wife, wonderful kids, a good job and lots of friends. Now, what was it you were saying?" I've not forgotten that to this day! At that time Ed was not married and did not have kids but wanted both. What a great lesson for me. Thankfully he has a wife and child now and I'm sure he is enjoying Father's Day. Happy Father's Day, Ed!

I am lucky to have 3 wonderful kids. Each as different from the other as night is from day, but all share many of the same traits. They keep family first, they are polite, they help others, they are self reliant and they love each other. They have personalities that make them unique but have learned how to balance that with the things that are important and bind them together and to their Mom and I.

My son is with his Grandfather for Father's Day but called me early today and sent me presents. He has called a second time. I've told him to enjoy the day and make it special for his Grandfather. I think he misses me and wants to be here but I'm glad he is with his grandfather. Those times are special, too.

My girls decorated the house with streamers and balloons. They had tons of presents for me. Coffee was ready when I got up and they fixed me my favorite breakfast. We are opened presents together and I got lots of things I like! Spending time with them is always the best present and I'd not trade it for the world. We are going to dinner tonight and they are baking a cake for me. Chocolate cake, chocolate icing and pecans! Now tell me, does it get any better than this? NO!

I think we'll watch a movie today, too. I'm hoping we can find The Paper Chase. Good, classic movie that I know they'll enjoy since they've had the college experience.

Sure, there are things I wish had gone differently. Sure there are things I'd rather have turned out better. But I'd not change one thing and risk not having the greatest kids in the world. We are a sum of our parts. We are the choices we've made. If this is so, I'll take my choices and their outcomes. I have the greatest kids in the world.

Thank you Laura, Brittany and AJ for a great father's day! I love you and I am proud of you!

A letter to my son...

Happy Birthday! 16 is a special time. It is another of life's transition times where you are not quite an adult but people expect you to act like one. The problem is you still think and are treated as if you were not an adult. It is not easy and no one ever really figures it out until they are older. But wait, then you are an adult and it is too late. So, don't sweat it and do enjoy it. The years are passing by so roll with them and just be you. A kid when you need to be and can. An adult when you want to be and need to be. There is Xbox for all the times in between.

I've watched you grow strong and smart. You think better, faster and in directions even I struggle to match. I am so proud of you. You are kind to those less fortunate and weaker. You look out for ways to help people. Those that would be bullies you don't tolerate and don't let them influence you. What great traits to have. I love you for all of these.

I've watched you grow from a small boy fascinated with big trucks and equipment to a man that works hard on the yard without complaining and makes money by recycling metal that others would throw away. You are generous with all you have and seem to have time to help everyone when asked. You'll try anything and master most everything. You care about everyone.

You struggle with classes that don't interest you and gobble up the ones that do. You stay ahead of your teachers in math but don't like wasting time showing the work. You know how to do it so why bother? I am constantly on you about these things. It is my job. But know that while I can't let you get away with them, I suffered the same way when I was your age. I see the value NOW in not doing things that way and want you to do better and not learn my lessons the hard way but I know that learning is what we do best. I'm proud of you and I love you.

I watch you help your sister with her gardening projects. I watch you take care of your Mom and help her in all things. I see you watch after her to make sure she is taking care of herself. I see you offer your candy to your sister and love her dog when she is away. I so love the hugs you give me each day just because you love me. I love you.

You'll have many triumphs in your life. You look to the future, you live life for now and you cherish the past. You put family first and do for others before you do for yourself. You are a wonderful son, a wonderful person and a wonderful friend. I am proud of you.

If I could have anything in the world and could change anything ever, I'd not change one thing about you. I love you the way you are and I am proud of who you are. I am proud to be your father.

I love you!

Dad

Layoff...

December 11, 2008 was the day I was laid off. I got the call about 9-ish that morning. I was working at my desk (home office) and got an email from a co-worker that she just got a call and was laid off. Very quickly my phone rang and I got the news, too.

I'd never gone through this and it was a shock. After 2-3 minutes the anger went away and my normal, calculating self went into action. I realized that there would be trying times ahead and I needed some ground rules for me to guide me. I promised myself that I would not panic, I would not worry and I would remain positive throughout the experience. Those 3 things have kept me on track and helped me and my family through the last 6 months.

During this time I've had conversations with companies that wanted me to move for jobs. Canada, California, and the northeast U.S. were all on the table. That was too big a change for the family and I've accepted that. Giving of yourself and your desires for your family is one of the trade-offs you make when you get married and have kids. I don't regret it and in fact it has helped me re-think what I want.

I've done the corporate world thing for 30 years and have loved it and done well. At first I just wanted to get back to it. Now, I'm realizing that I'm not so sure that is where I need/want to be after all. Travel for fun and vacation is one thing but for business it is another. I can do it and it is no big deal but being home is a lot more appealing! I am going to work with a local company doing sales, which was my first love, and if I like it I might buy the company. The owner wants to sell and this might be exactly what I've been looking for!

Talk about a 180 degree change! But not really. I like challenges, I like people and I like working. A dear friend put me onto this idea and is encouraging me to do it. She is the most positive person you can imagine and I know God sent her along to nudge me in a new direction. A lot has to happen for this to work out but it has given me a different excitement than I've had for some time.

I know the pharmaceutical industry very well. I've had the opportunity to do more things than most anyone I know. I love the industry and the people but things change and I change with them.

I truly believe that God sends us places to teach us things. I know he is trying to teach my hard head something. He closed one door but has graciously seems to be opening another. I'm ready for it more than I ever thought I'd be.

I am back! Long story so bear with me...

I stopped blogging for a number of reasons. None of them valid to anyone but me and now I'm not sure they were valid even for me. Let me bring me (and you) up to speed.

I started blogging for me but then I realized I was blogging for others as well and mostly for my family. But they just were not into reading the blogs (they liked them but are not PC people like I am) and I guess this impacted me and "hurt my feelings". Go figure! How awful of me to feel that way. Blogging is for me, first, and others next, I guess. I need the therapy of putting words to paper or clicks to the screen. It is not a personal thing towards me if the family does not want to read my blog. They hear me every day already. I guess I had an inflated view of my "words" or something.

As a note, Becky has been a great inspiration! Becky is someone I've developed a netship (a virtual friendship) with because I have followed some potters blogs (see the list) and she heard about my blog and has encouraged me. We linked up recently on facebook and she encouraged me to start blogging again. Thanks Becky. Maybe we'll meet one day and have coffee (in a Ron mug!) and a live conversation! Let me encourage you to support a potter. Using items that were made by people you can know and name add something special. Life is that way, too.

Next, I was laid off in a massive layoff the company I worked for had. What a tough experience! You question everything. More on that specific issue in a later post. I've been doing some soul searching over the last 6 months and I think I'm arriving in a new place. Not that we have a choice about these things because life is a journey and we don't always get to choose the exits and routes on which we find ourselves.

I'm going to post about jobs, life and other things to sort them out. Anyone reading this should bear with me. I'll take them through what I've been through and still going through. The good and the bad and the nether world stuff that I'm still figuring out. It has been amazing over the last 6 months. I wish I had shared it along the way but I think I needed to figure some stuff out. Not that I've got it all figured out but I'm getting there!

So, for now this is the start. It was hard doing this but now that I've started I'm glad. More to come.